Employee, singing on the way down the hall: I need to change my tammmmmponnnnn
Coalinga, California
Employee, singing on the way down the hall: I need to change my tammmmmponnnnn
Coalinga, California
Dumbest: He said he had a stomach ache so I gave him some Aflac–you know, rolodex?
Less Dumb: Antacids? Rolaids?
7th and Congress
Austin, Texas
Patient: Do you offer any discounts if this is my second surgery?
Receptionist: Sure, we can throw in a free appendectomy or colonoscopy… Your choice.
Orange Avenue
Orlando, Florida
Attorney #1: You know David*, the blind prosecutor downtown?
Attorney #2: He’s the one who always gets the young, hot assistants, right?
Attorney #3: I don’t care what anyone says, that son of a bitch can see.
300 West Main Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Receptionist on phone: My body always tells me when it's time for a piece of beef.
Fairchild Court
Plainview, New York
Coworker: Hey, I have a question.
Female coworker: Hold on a sec, I'm trimming my balls.
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: Sarah
Intern #1: Ew, skin falls off!
Intern #2: Leprosy's no joke, you guys.
Fashion Magazine
Manhattan, New York
Visiting client, waiting for elevator: You're right. Putting shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle *is* more economical.
(jittery laughter)
Manager: It just makes sense, you know? Why have two when you can have just one?
Coworker, after client and manager get in elevator: That was the worst example of small talk I have ever heard.
Chicago, Illinois
Attorney: This work shit has got to stop. It’s really bringing me down.
301 Merritt Seven
Norwalk, Connecticut
Co-worker #1: What is a good exercise for the lower abs?
Co-worker #2: Well, I can think of one exercise that’s really good for the abs…
Co-worker #3: yeah, but only if he can last longer than 5 minutes.
The copy repairman pops out from under the copier.
Repairman: Well ladies, it’s been an entertaining afternoon.
8565 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway
Portland, Oregon
