Cube rat #1: You’ve got to be shitting me… My grandma is trying to add me on MySpace.
Cube rat #2: That’s sort of sweet.
Cube rat #1: I’m her second friend. I didn’t know she knew what a computer was…
Cube rat #2: Dude, pop her comment cherry!
1932 Wildcat Canyon Road
San Diego, California
Girl applying for marriage license, to fiance: You sure you want to do this?
Fiance to girl: Who else am I gonna marry?
Girl to clerk: Is this the same place you come for divorce too?
Clerk of Court Office
Titusville, Florida
Overheard by: Tricia
Coworker #1: And I still had this stomach bug, but I'd just drank all this fruit punch, and my mom was calling me, and I made into the hallway before I puked fruit punch all over the wall, and I was like “I'm coming, mom!”
Coworker #2: Oh, god, how old were you?
Coworker #1: This was like six months ago.
Columbia, Missouri
Male manager: I just love pushing your button! (sticks finger in his mouth, makes a popping sound and then makes a stabbing motion with it)
Female supervisor: My husband does that, and it drives me bananas!
North Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: thatshowyoudoit?
Female intern: I hope I never deal with childbirth. I just want to lay an egg and be done with it.
Stoughton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Billy
Consultant on phone with spouse: Oh, I’m just reading a blog post about a woman flying from San Francisco to Newark, and this guy sitting next to her starting to watch hardcore porn on his laptop… Well I’d hope he was wearing headphones! Did your father feed the baby yogurt again?
5th and Market
San Francisco, California
Office girl: Is the company starting a cloning program? You two are exactly the same.
New girl #1: Yeah, I know…except that she had a baby, and I didn't.
New girl #2: Right, so the only way you can tell the difference between us is the size of our hoo-hoos.
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: C.note
Male tech #1: Chris, are you pregnant and considering adoption?
Male tech #2: Yes. Wait, what?
Denville, New Jersey
Overheard by: BabakganoosH
Lawyer on phone: I don’t care what you want to do, just file the fucking report! Shut the fuck up and file the fucking thing!
Client: Yikes.
Secretary: He’s yelling at his other secretary.
Client: …Yeah, but–
Lawyer: I said file the fucking thing!
Secretary: It’s okay. She’s also his wife.
430 West First Street
New Albany, Indiana
Woman to child: Some people are just wicked. Put that pumpkin back.
Wal-Mart
Aberdeen, Washington
