Where I Get My Own Way and You Think It’s Your Idea

Consultant after hanging up phone: Ah, the art of bullshit.

NYU Medical Center
New York

Posted on April 2, 2008
Compliments, Consultants, Default, Lies, Medical, New York

How on Earth Is She Related to Steven Tyler?

Coworker #1: She doesn’t look like her name, does she?
Coworker #2: No… She doesn’t.
Coworker #1: Yeah, she’s a little hottie!

MGM Grand
Las Vegas, Nevada

Posted on April 1, 2008
Compliments, Coworkers, Default, Names, Nevada, Physical Appearance

It’s Like You Learned Nothing in Clown College

Whiny girl: I don’t know why anyone won’t take me seriously!
Mentor: Well, Kimmy*, you’ve got to show some confidence.

San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: Not Steffi

Posted on April 1, 2008
Advice, Default, Gripes, Students, Teachers, Texas

He’s Imagining a Python Swallowing a Pig

Assistant eating sub sandwich: Man, I’m full already.
Hoochie coworker: You just consumed less than four inches of that thing. Heck, I usually stuff at least a 12-inch down my throat…
Assistant: Uh, yeah, I’m definitely done now…

California

Overheard by: californiatrinity

Posted on April 1, 2008
Bimbettes, Body Parts, California, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Meals and Snacks

Kid, Have We Got a Job for You

Employee’s daughter: Sometimes I like to lick my jacket!

1114 6th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Kelly

Posted on April 1, 2008
Default, Family members, Health & Hygiene, New York, Weirdness

“Chill”? Inappropriate Tone? That Monster!

Lady peon: I had a third thing to mention to you.
Manager: Okay, go ahead.
Lady peon: When I was on the phone with Susan*, she got mad at me. She told me to chill in a very inappropriate tone.
Manager: Uh-huh.
Lady peon: I think she’ll sabotage your party over this. I think she’s gone around the bend.
Manager: You think she’s gone around the bend?

Paramus, New Jersey

Overheard by: Making Copies

Posted on March 31, 2008
Bosses and Underlings, Default, Gossip, Gripes, New Jersey

And They Only Have Slurs for the Irish

Coworker #1: So, did you hear that Keith Richards said the N-word in his comedy bit the other day?
Coworker #2: That’s a shame. I thought he was from England.

Missoula, Montana

Overheard by: Ray

Posted on March 31, 2008
Coworkers, Default, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Gossip, Montana, Music, Words

I Call That Time “The Lost Years”

Associate: No, I don’t eat dog food. Maybe I used to…

Vernon Hills, Illinois

Overheard by: just buying candy

Posted on March 31, 2008
Animals, Bosses, Default, Illinois, Meals and Snacks

You Can Watch the Movie During the Proceedings

Coworker #1: I have Popular, NipTuck, and Six Feet Under in my queue, but I’m really a movie whore.
Coworker #2: That’s good. Admitting you’re a whore is the first step towards actually getting paid for it.
Coworker #1: What the hell are you talking about?

Wausau, Wisconsin

Posted on March 28, 2008
Comebacks, Coworkers, Default, Technology, Wisconsin, Words

Seems Like a Lot of Work to Get Another Job, Though

Designer: … And then [the director] said, ‘What else did you accomplish today?’ Can you believe that?!
Writer: What the hell business is it of his what you do here?
Designer: And so what if I did go to lunch with you for three hours? Is that a crime? Can a man not waste a little time on the company dollar anymore? What the hell kind of place is this becoming?!
Writer: I ask myself that everyday.

16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

Posted on March 28, 2008
Arizona, Default, Designers and Photographers, Gossip, Gripes, Time Management, Writers and Editors

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