Frankly, I Think You Need a Break from Those Pasties, Earl

Manager of consultant team: Okay everyone, we’re going into the office tomorrow.
Consultant: Aw man, that means we have to wear real clothes!

Mount Laurel, New Jersey

Overheard by: I hate that

Posted on May 14, 2008
Clothes, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, New Jersey

The DiCaprio Code Could Hardly Have Been Worse

Jen: Today is Leonardo Da Vinci’s birthday.
Beth: Really? I guess he’ll be going out to dinner with Gisele Bundchen. Oh wait, they broke up, didn’t they?
Jen: […]

Sylvan Way
Parsippany, New Jersey

Overheard by: Karen

Posted on May 14, 2008
Coworkers, Default, General Idiocy, Geography & History, Gossip, New Jersey

Prepare for Your Troll Years, Sally

Coworker on the phone with her daughter: The days of getting free stuff just because you’re cute are over.

County School Office
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Someone who’s convinced those days are never over

Posted on May 13, 2008
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Education, Family, Maryland, On the phone, Parents

I’m Also Sorry for My Current Involuntary Venom Seepage

Co-worker made to apologize to client: I’m sorry I didn’t have you on hold when I called you an asshole.

Marietta, Georgia

Posted on May 13, 2008
Anger management, Coworkers, Customer Service, Default, Georgia, Insults

Yours Is Like a Freaking Jack-in-the-Box, Though

Specialist peon to manager peon: It’s 3:30 already? My thingy hasn’t been popping up all day!

South Park Circle
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: I didn’t know girls had thingies

Posted on May 13, 2008
Body Parts, Coworkers, Default, Employees, Florida, Sexuality, Time Management

The Suicide Hotline Tries to Keep Callers Confused

Woman on phone: Well, do you want to sleep or do you want to die? You can’t have it both ways.

Fort Worth, Texas

Posted on May 13, 2008
Death, Default, Offers and requests, On the phone, Questions, Texas, Weirdness

Aesop’s Later Work Fell a Bit Short

Pierced guy to friend: So the moral of the story is: “Don’t fall asleep in Penn Station when Howie Mandel is around”.

Tremont Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on May 13, 2008
Advice, Coworkers, Default, Massachusetts, Pop culture

That’s a Mannequin, Sir

Manager: What seems to be the problem, sir?
Irate customer: Your employee isn’t arguing with me so I can report him to you.

Olympia Sports
Hyannis, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Bobby

Posted on May 12, 2008
Anger management, Customers, Default, Employees, Gripes, Massachusetts, Questions, Retail, Weirdness

Two of Them Were Definitely Envy and Greed

Bank president: Lemme tell you something. There’s five key elements to running a company… now what the hell were they?

Hopkinsville, Kentucky

Overheard by: will1966

Posted on May 12, 2008
Advice, Banking, Compare and contrast, Default, Executives, Financial Folk, Kentucky, Meetings, Questions, Words

How’s This One?

Girl #1: Why you got that scary picture as your wallpaper?
Girl #2: It’s not scary. It’s a pretty field and a tree.
Manager: It looks like Teletubbies are gonna walk over the hill and kill us all.
Girl #1: Why you gotta be so scary? Why can’t you have a normal desktop picture? Like Betty Boop?

Purchase, New York

Overheard by: Is my life really like this?

Posted on May 12, 2008
Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, New York, Questions, Retail, Threats, TV

Default

How’s This One?