Excited sales guy on cell: There’s nothing you could do to a pig that I don’t like.
Lake Shore Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Amazing Amanda
Excited sales guy on cell: There’s nothing you could do to a pig that I don’t like.
Lake Shore Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Amazing Amanda
Client: How bad? Are we talking about just paying the three million, or are we talking penalties bad?
Accountant: We’re talking jail bad.
Broward Boulevard
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Male federal employee: I loved those old Startac phones because all they were was a phone. They didn’t take pictures. They didn’t predict your ovulation cycle. They just took calls!
Independence Avenue
Washington, DC
Sales rep: Mmmm… This is good. What is this? Harry and David. Oh… So it’s that kind of thing. No, I think they’re brothers, actually.
Forsyth Road
Macon, Georgia
Brunette girl #1: So I was in bed for like, a whole week.
Brunette girl #2: Because your vagina was broken?
Brunette girl #1: Yeah…
Lords Valley, Pennsylvania
Coworker #1: He couldn’t get it up?
Coworker #2: No, he couldn’t get hard.
Coworker #1: Wow, I can at least get hard.
Coworker #2: It was his first shoot. They gave him Viagra and energy drinks and the girl sucked and rubbed him for an hour but he couldn’t get hard. Then the director fired him and asked if anyone if could keep it hard for two hours.
Coworker #1: Did you volunteer?
Coworker #2: No, I can stay hard for an hour but not two. But a cameraman did. I felt bad for the girl, she was just 18 and it was her first shoot and the cameraman was like 60.
Coworker #1: Damn. I wish I hadn’t called in sick.
Porn Shoot
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: she was ugly
Engineer: Did you see that e-mail bob sent?
Technician: Yes, he’s creating an army of idiots in his own image!
Wayne, Pennsylvania
Ditzy customer service rep #1: Isn’t there a country where they read right to left?
Ditzy customer service rep #2: Oh, yeah, isn’t that England?
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Way Underpaid HR Manager
Co-worker #1: Are you doing the Chicago marathon this year?
Co-worker #2: No. I would but I’m already doing another marathon this year and doing two marathons in one year is just too much.
Co-worker #3: How hard is it to train for a marathon? Left, right, left, right, repeat!
Chicago, Illinois
