Secretary: That’s what my sister did. They went to Niagara Falls and got married by a midget.
Uniontown, Ohio
Secretary: That’s what my sister did. They went to Niagara Falls and got married by a midget.
Uniontown, Ohio
(receptionist passes a Boss Day card to one of the company partners to sign)
Partner, after signing it: So… What’s this for? His birthday?
Receptionist: No, his birthday was last month… remember?
Partner: Oh… I already signed it “Happy birthday”.
Main Street
Aspen, Colorado
(admin walks into project manager's office)
Project manager: I don't want to see that! You're wearing that thong that I don't like to see!
Burlington, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Effie
Queer peon to coworker: Shut your face or I’ll shit in your throat!
West 38th Street
New York, New York
Sales boss: Will you please tell John* not to get discouraged?
Salesman #1: Don't be discouraged! You're going to get this renewal!
Salesman #2 (John*): No, I just don't think it's going to happen.
Salesman #1: Fine, then just go in the bathroom and slit your wrists!
Boss: (gives salesman #1 angry look)
Salesman #1: What?! I'm trying to be a team player!
Manhattan, New York
[Technicians installing a new system]Technician #1: Ok, well it looks like we need to go up to the ceiling.
Technician #2: I’m going to go up the ladder.
Technician #3: You’re going to go up the ladder?
Technician #1: You’re going to go up the ladder?
Technician #2: I’m going to go up the ladder.
[Technician #2 goes up the ladder and takes some stuff apart]Technician #2: Ok, so I think this one is the heating hose.
Technician #1: That one’s the heating hose?
Technician #2: Yeah, this one’s the heating hose.
Technician #3: Ok, I?m going to activate it. Whoosh.
Technician #2: Turn it off! Turn it off! Turn it off!
[Technician #3 turns it off]Technician #2: Ok, that’s the heating hose.
Enterprise Drive
Oak Brook, Illinois
Intern, after a lengthy conversation with a make-up artist: Oh, and by the way, I’m here to do more than have conversations about murder and rape…
Sargent Place
Los Angeles, California
Accountant: The boss is charging all his personal expenses to the firm. We'll have to use a little creative camouflaging to make them look like office expenses.
Trainee: How do we show his father's funeral coffin?
Accountant: Packaging & forwarding?
Garden Square
Panjim
India
Overheard by: Paige Turner
Designer: So, David*, what are you doing tonight?
Deaf box office manager: I’m-on-eh-leh.
Designer: Oh, you’re going to get laid?
(deaf box office manager nods)
Designer: Well, that’s nice.
Fort Lauderdale, Florida
