Coworker at reseller conference: I thought one of the resellers was talking like a pirate, but he was just Australian.
Grapevine, Texas
Overheard by: Chuckles The Porn Star
Coworker at reseller conference: I thought one of the resellers was talking like a pirate, but he was just Australian.
Grapevine, Texas
Overheard by: Chuckles The Porn Star
Bubbly girl: You know what’s a funny word? ‘Fucker…’ And ‘bitches.’
Oak Lawn
Cook County, Illinois
Overheard by: erin
Office liar: The Navy hires very conservative people to captain nuclear submarines.
Male coworker: Really?
Office liar: Yeah, every nuclear submarine captain I’ve ever met has been very level-headed.
Female coworker: How many nuclear submarine captains have you met?
Office liar: Hundreds!
West Loop
Chicago, Illinois
Cube dweller #1: For my wedding the colors were black and white. So I took my bridesmaids to the dress shop and told them to pick out whatever dress they wanted. They all ended up picking the same one.
Cube dweller #2: Well, that's nice.
Cube dweller #1: Of course they picked the most expensive dress, but I didn't have to pay for that part.
Cube dweller #2: And I bet it was a nice bridesmaid dress that they could wear again and again.
Cube dweller #3: Yeah, like to a funeral.
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: eavesdropping cube dweller
Boss: Can we talk for a few minutes?
Colleague: In a minute. I need to finish writing nasty emails to staff who don’t learn.
Boss: We can’t write nasty emails! We have to be encouraging.
Colleague: Dear sir, I’m delighted to be able to tell you that you are a complete idiot…
Australia
Lady worker answering phone: Hi Alex*! … I knew it was you because this is a 321* area code, and you work in Boston and it wasn’t your home number… And if it wasn’t you, then I was prepared for your boss to be calling me telling me you fell off a stool, hit your head, and wound up dead on the floor.
Indiana
Coworker, after boss’s going-away party: I just feel sick… like I’m going to throw up. Maybe I’m allergic to sentiment.
11150 Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Client on phone, returning from lunch: What, we have a meeting now? I’ll be there in ten minutes. Is [the boss] around?
Admin: Yeah, he’s right here.
Client: Good, go kick him in the shin for me.
Admin: Um, you’re on speakerphone.
Client: I hate you! How many times have I told you never to put me on speakerphone!?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Ditzy CSR: I totally rocked Guitar Hero last night! I played the best song!
Innocent cube mate: Oh yeah? What song?
Ditzy CSR: You know, umm… That Aerosmith song, “Livin' on a Prayer”?
Only guy in the department: Dude! We live in New Jersey. That's Bon Jovi… I should just end my life now.
Bridgewater, New Jersey
