Boss: If you’re going to get electrocuted, do it on your own time.
4610 Mission Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Hugo Delgado
Boss: If you’re going to get electrocuted, do it on your own time.
4610 Mission Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Hugo Delgado
CEO to board: This is too complicated for you. The lawyer and myself are like eagles flying high above you. You wouldn’t understand.
Board member: Yes, but remember — we can shoot you down.
4000 Old Seward Highway
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Ataqun
Office Manager: Are the purple ones grape?
Bored Admin: No, they’re not
Office Manager: Are they sugar-free?
Bored Admin: Ah, no, they’re not.
Office Manager: They look eastery!
111 Huntington Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
HR clerk: Maureen* broke another chair. Should I order her another chair designed for a person over three hundred pounds, or should I order an even stronger chair?
Manager: No! I am going to tell the maintenance guys to put her desk up on blocks! Then, I am going to tell Maureen that her job description has changed! She is now required to stand up to do her job!
[manager leaves]
HR clerk: Well, it is not going to be me that tells him that one of the toilets in the women’s restroom is broken.
5760 Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Excited supervisor: Want to see pictures of my dead cat?
Fairfax, Virginia
Angry office manager, looking at promotional material: It looks like someone ate alphabet soup and shat all over this document.
K Street
Washington, DC
Overheard by: must have been too muct text on the page…….
CSR on quality control recording of recent call: Hello, this is Brian*, how can I help you?
Caller: Kathy.
CSR: Sorry, what?
Caller: I want Kathy. Now.
CSR: Okay. Well, she's probably not available right now. Can I help you?
Caller: Fuck you. I don't want to talk to you. I only want to talk to Kathy. You talk like an asshole.
CSR: Sir, assholes talk like this: “tttthhhhhhbbbbbttttttttttt”. I've done no such thing. I'll have to ask you to call back when you're feeling more appropriate.
Quality control monitor: Good. Next call.
Financial District
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Alan
Office manager, getting off phone: Well, that was awkward. She said that Jim died in march.
Accountant: He didn't leave any unpaid invoices, right?
Orange, California
Overheard by: Peon with a soul
Queen: I tell you what you do. You put her computer inside a Krispy Kreme box, maybe then she’ll get some work done.
142 Greene Street
New York, NY
Accounting supervisor: I'd really like for this customer to start paying on time.
Trade floor director: Well, I'd like bigger tits and a smaller ass, but that's not going to happen.
Houston, Texas
