Manager: You knew that, right?
Employee: Well yeah. Because Gilligan and the Skipper were totally queer.
Fort Worth, Texas
Overheard by: I don't belong here
(phone rings)
Associate #1: What's the deal with the ringing phone?
Associate #2: Do you think we're supposed to answer it?
(phone keeps ringing)
Associate #3: What if it's not for us? What do we say?
Associate #1: Who do you think they're calling for?
(assistant runs in from next office and answers)
Atlanta, Georgia
Sailor, with sheet to sign: I need your signature on this.
Boss man: Ok, do you have a pen?
Sailor: Uh… No.
Boss: Tell me, Frank, how am I supposed to sparkle if you don’t give me any glitter? [Storms out of the room.]
Pt. Mugu Naval Base, California
Hiring manager, after executives commented on physical appearance of new employee: I'm saving you all from litigation by not paying attention to any of you.
Executive one: No, you're not, “ugly” is not a protected class.
Marlborough, Massachusetts
Manager to engineer: That'll cut our sales in half by at least 85%!
Batavia, Ohio
Boss, sending a sick employee home: You are so stubborn, I told you not to come in today.
Employee: I didn’t know I was sick, I just thought I didn’t feel good.
Long Beach, California
IT manager, sighing loudly: I was just in accounting. Don't go over there.
Secretary: Why not?
IT manager: Because it's accounting!
Secretary: (confused silence)
IT manager, sighing: Well, for starters, Bob is wearing a Tigger shirt.
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Not THAT Casual Friday
VP Research: The client would like us to find a creative way to solve the problem.
Field Manager: I am tired of looking for the solution to this problem; let’s start looking for someone to blame instead…
85 E Street
South Portland, Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
Manager; You don't stick your tongue on a 9-volt battery every day.
Boston, Massachusetts
HR manager: Why does she keep calling it a guidebook? It's an employee handbook! A guidebook is for when you go to the Cayman Islands and need to find a donkey!
Norwalk, Connecticut
