Supervisor: She always answers the phone. It’s just she forgets to talk.
200 West Oak
Fort Collins, Colorado
Supervisor: She always answers the phone. It’s just she forgets to talk.
200 West Oak
Fort Collins, Colorado
Manager: Did you make a new folder for the nursery division?
Accountant: Did I?
Manager: Yes, did you?
Accountant: Would I?
(manager stares blankly)
Freehold, New Jersey
Overheard by: Max
Peon, to neighbor: At least I know how to spell it. I may not know how to spell totes, but I know how to spell that word.
Boss, interrupting: What do you know how to spell?
Peon: Vasectomy. V-a-s-e-c-t-o-m-y.
Boss: And in what context do you need to spell “vasectomy” in a work e-mail?
Peon: I just wanted to let you guys know what is going on with this dude, he's going to be on the phone a lot today.
Boss: Dude is getting a vasectomy?
Peon, pointing back and forth to her left and right boob: No, his grandma is.
Boss: Yeah, that's not a vasectomy.
Humble, Texas
Manager: Do you remember the cartoon where they hold the dog down and pour gravy down its throat? Great cartoon, that.
Melbourne
Australia
Office drone #1: Yeah, I was totally born only five minutes after midnight.
Office drone #2: That's so much better than me, in the afternoon. Afternoon is boring. Hey boss, what time you were born?
Manager: Probably when angels started crying? How the fuck should I know? I wasn't born with a watch and cognitive thinking.
Columbus, Ohio
Co-worker #1 on intercom: [Renee], you have a call on line one.
Co-worker #2 on intercom: [Brenda], there is a call on line 3 for you.
Boss on intercom: All right, people. We have to stop using this all-over-the-building page thing for no good reason.
1710 Roy Acuff Place
Nashville, Tennessee
Manager: Literally, I am the entire choir, and you are preaching to me.
530 Means Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Boss: Damn it! My camera is dead again!
Receptionist: Didn’t you just replace those batteries a couple of days ago?
Boss: Yes.
Sales: Maybe you’re out of megapixels.
1003 Distribution Drive
Columbus, Ohio
Salesman: Who do you think you are, Linda Ellerbee?
Business Manager: No, Kurt Vonnegut.
2 Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: Roy Edelsack
