Sensory Experiences

Coworker #1: Everybody, breathe in!
Everyone, after breathing in: Why?
Coworker #1: I just farted!

Virginia

Overheard by: I wish I had not listened

Coworker, musing: I wonder what a black gay Mormon would sound like.

Government Office
Washington, DC

Male coworker, pointing at big sweater: This is Irish!
Female Irish-American coworker, pointing at crotch: So is this!
Male coworker: Because it’s freckly and smells like Guinness?

Austin, Texas

Woman testing cologne to daughter: Oh, no, if I go home smelling like a man, dad will know what I've been doing.

Roosevelt Field Mall
East Garden City, New York

Overheard by: T-Dizzle

Seven-year-old daughter on speakerphone: I saw a cute mother-daughter necklace at the store. It said “if daughters were flowers I'd still pick you.” See, mom? I'm like a flower! I smell sweet!
Mother: Yeah, and when you die, I'll throw you away.

Pryor, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Danielle

Customer service clerk #1: Whew! It stinks in here. Did the bug exterminator guy spray for bugs in here today?
Customer service clerk #2: No, one of the sales reps just walked through. You are smelling salesman cologne.

5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Cube chick: You should go in Jeff’s office -it is so cold in there you could hang meat.
Cube dude: I hang meat everywhere I go.

Dallas, Texas

Overly happy admin on phone, on administrative professional's day: Amanda made me cookies! (pause) I know! I want them to feel free to worship me whenever they want! Bowing is optional!

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: and when exactly is computer monkey day?

Girl: I was in the meeting today and I thought to myself -hmm, I think I smell like carcass…

Parkplace and Gamble
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: cubsicle

Cubicle dweller on phone: If I didn't see gay sex when the server started, I'd be worried.

Itasca, Illinois