Fetus: What Are You Lookin’ At?

Receptionist: Oh, I forgot today was Friday the 13th. I do pay attention to that, because I was in a bad car accident in high school on a Friday the 13th.
HR assistant: So no going out and drinking tonight, then?
Receptionist (bemusedly): Well…
HR assistant: You’ll just stay home and drink, right?
Receptionist: (laughs) Yeah, that’s when you know you’re an alcoholic, when you stay home and drink.
HR assistant: And you’re pregnant.
Receptionist: Right. Don’t want people being judgmental at the bar.

Airport Way
Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 9, 2008
Default, Employees, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, Human Resources, Receptionists, Substance Use & Abuse, Washington, Weirdness

I Was Planning on Having a Tossed Salad for Lunch

Nurse: It didn’t hurt my tongue when they pierced it–just that first pop.
Tech: Ooooh, my asshole just puckered up!
Receptionist: Quit talking about tongues and assholes!

Front Desk, Medical Clinic
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: xrayguy

Posted on July 1, 2008
Body Parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Medical, Nebraska, Nurses, Offers and requests, Receptionists, Sensory Experiences, Tech People

What If the Big Switch in Al Gore’s House Gets Frozen in the “Off” Position?

Accountant: It’s snowed a ton, the roads are really bad today. They’ve closed a bunch of schools.
Receptionist: I hope they cancel my online class!

Washington Square
Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: No level of stupidity surprises me anymore

Posted on June 27, 2008
Default, Education, Employees, Financial Folk, Michigan, Receptionists, Weather, Wishes

Mind If I Eat One of the Bananas?

19-year-old receptionist to middle aged salesman: I love your hat -I would totally wear it if I were drunk.

111 Street, Fort St John
British Columbia, Canadia

Overheard by: Mama C

Posted on June 12, 2008
Canadia, Clothes, Compliments, Default, Drinking, Receptionists

Just When You Thought Dating Shows Couldn’t Get Any More Extreme

Receptionist on phone: It was a male chicken, 12 inches tall. It was corn-fed in Iowa and its sign was Pisces… Yeah, bone in.

Constellation
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Kaleb

Posted on June 6, 2008
Animals, Default, On the phone, Receptionists, Service, Weirdness

Wish I Was a Sociopath and Didn’t Care

Receptionist, putting her coat on: So, I’ll see you guys on Monday, have a good weekend!
Coworkers, walking out of their offices: Uh… You know it’s only four o’clock, right?
[Silence.]Receptionist, removing coat: Dang, I was almost out the door too. Teaches me to say goodbye.

Dodge Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Brandy

Posted on May 5, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Nebraska, Receptionists, Time Management

That’s What You Said About Cancer Patients

Receptionist on phone: Some people say they have OCD. They don’t have OCD. They’re nuts!

Office
Lyndhurst, New Jersey

Posted on April 30, 2008
Compare and contrast, Health & Hygiene, Insults, New Jersey, On the phone, Receptionists

And She Was Totally Ungrateful About Last Year’s Weight Watchers Subscription

Thoughtful receptionist: What are you getting your wife for Valentine’s Day?
Sales shark: Nothing. She’s already my wife.

Madison Avenue
New York City, New York

Posted on April 30, 2008
Default, Holidays, New York, Questions, Receptionists, Relationships, Sales, Weirdness

That’s an Oven, Janet

Receptionist, staring at a door: This door confuses me.

Main Street
Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on April 28, 2008
Default, Feelings, General Idiocy, Kentucky, Receptionists

She Wins the Office Gracie Allen Award Every Year

Very serious ditzy receptionist: On project runway last night, I picked the winner and loser of the challenge and the order everyone was going to be called out before Heidi even called them.
Receptionist friend: You rock.
Very serious ditzy receptionist: I know. [pauses] But that doesn’t mean I’m made of stone.

Columbus, Ohio

Posted on April 17, 2008
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Friends, General Idiocy, Ohio, Receptionists, TV, Words

Receptionists