Dentist receptionist #1: What kind of coffee would you like? We have hazelnut, french roast…
Dentist receptionist #2: I could have sworn you just said: “weasel nut”.
Dentist receptionist #1: That’s my favorite flavor.
Duluth, Minnesota
Overheard by: Just waiting
Receptionist: Oh, I forgot today was Friday the 13th. I do pay attention to that, because I was in a bad car accident in high school on a Friday the 13th.
HR assistant: So no going out and drinking tonight, then?
Receptionist (bemusedly): Well…
HR assistant: You’ll just stay home and drink, right?
Receptionist: (laughs) Yeah, that’s when you know you’re an alcoholic, when you stay home and drink.
HR assistant: And you’re pregnant.
Receptionist: Right. Don’t want people being judgmental at the bar.
Airport Way
Seattle, Washington
Nurse: It didn’t hurt my tongue when they pierced it–just that first pop.
Tech: Ooooh, my asshole just puckered up!
Receptionist: Quit talking about tongues and assholes!
Front Desk, Medical Clinic
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: xrayguy
Accountant: It’s snowed a ton, the roads are really bad today. They’ve closed a bunch of schools.
Receptionist: I hope they cancel my online class!
Washington Square
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: No level of stupidity surprises me anymore
19-year-old receptionist to middle aged salesman: I love your hat -I would totally wear it if I were drunk.
111 Street, Fort St John
British Columbia, Canadia
Overheard by: Mama C
Receptionist on phone: It was a male chicken, 12 inches tall. It was corn-fed in Iowa and its sign was Pisces… Yeah, bone in.
Constellation
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Kaleb
Receptionist, putting her coat on: So, I’ll see you guys on Monday, have a good weekend!
Coworkers, walking out of their offices: Uh… You know it’s only four o’clock, right?
[Silence.]Receptionist, removing coat: Dang, I was almost out the door too. Teaches me to say goodbye.
Dodge Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Brandy
Receptionist on phone: Some people say they have OCD. They don’t have OCD. They’re nuts!
Office
Lyndhurst, New Jersey
Thoughtful receptionist: What are you getting your wife for Valentine’s Day?
Sales shark: Nothing. She’s already my wife.
Madison Avenue
New York City, New York
Receptionist, staring at a door: This door confuses me.
Main Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Emily
