Male coworker: It says I have to create a ‘heat ticket.’ Where is that?
Female coworker: Just open a general service ticket. I haven’t had to go into heat to get that done.
50 Beele
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: JuJuBe
Male coworker: It says I have to create a ‘heat ticket.’ Where is that?
Female coworker: Just open a general service ticket. I haven’t had to go into heat to get that done.
50 Beele
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: JuJuBe
Teacher: Scott*, can you give the next answer?
Student: Religion is the belief in a supernatural and the relationship with this being.
Teacher: Could you please speak normally next time?
Student: I am.
All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Coworker #1: Well one time, I was eating here, and I found a piece of metal in my mouth! You know, a long thin piece. But bunched up. I chewed on it and it like exploded in my mouth. In my mouth! Can you believe it? It was all twisted or something. Coiled. Oh yeah. It was a spring! A spring! Anyway, I chewed on it and it like boinged in my mouth. Wait, wait, wait. Can you believe it? Boing, boing, boing! So I spit it out and look at it and think, ‘What the hell is this and what is it doing in my food?’ But really, can you believe it? Boinging all over the place!
Coworker #2: Ok. Enough already. You’re making me sick. It’s like having lunch with Roseanne Roseannadanna. Next you’ll be telling me about the time you found a toenail in your cheeseburger.
Coworker #1: Oh yeah. Wouldn’t that be great? Lunch with Roseanne. But she’s dead, you know. Cancer.
Coworker #2: Gilda Radner died of cancer.
Coworker #1: Who? Why are you always changing the subject?
Coworker #2: I’m eating at my desk.
1500 University Avenue
Madison University Hospital & Clinics Cafeteria
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Just lost my appetite
Interview consultant: Always be aware of what you are saying during an interview. I have seen interviews fall apart over a single word.
Student: Like what word?
Interview consultant: The word was fuck.
4801 Mass. Ave NW, Washington DC, American University, Washington College of Law
Washington, DC
Employee: I’d like to work the booth. I could be good at that. I’d like to travel, and go to trade shows.
Manager: You’d have to educate yourself so you can speak to clients about what we do here. You’d also have to work some weekends.
Employee: Do I get paid?
Manager: You get travel for free – meals, hotel, airfare.
Employee: Wow.
Manager: And of course your regular paycheck.
Employee: Is this scheme widely known in the company??
Rochelle Park
New Jersey
Bookstore clerk: Prose? I thought that was a kind of poetry.
Bookstore, Connecticut Avenue
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Doctor Whom
Man on cell: What made you stick a magnet up your nose?
5th & Jackson Streets
Topeka, Kansas
Manager #1: So did you have a nice birthday party?
Manager #2: Not yet. My older brother’s birthday is two weeks after mine, so we always just have one big party that weekend.
Manager #1: Oh, wait, wouldn’t that make you the older brother?
Panera, 3043 Glendale Avenue
Toledo, Ohio
Boss: So did you work things out?
Intern: Yeah, I talked to him when I dropped the tumor off.
Martin Street
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: sleeping with my eyes open
Intern chick: Where’s Ithaca?
Bronx boy: It’s upstate.
Intern chick: Upstate?
Bronx boy: Way upstate.
Intern chick: So where are we?
Bronx boy: We’re southern. The very southern tip of New York.
Intern chick: OK, how far north is it?
Bronx boy: Really far north… it’s near prisons, if you really want to know the truth.
125th Street & Lenox Avenue
New York, New York
