Marketing coworker: My wife is an identical twin.
AP coworker: Did you ever ask them for a threesome?
Marketing coworker: Hell no! My wife's twin is a pain in the ass!
Greenwood Village, Colorado
Marketing coworker: My wife is an identical twin.
AP coworker: Did you ever ask them for a threesome?
Marketing coworker: Hell no! My wife's twin is a pain in the ass!
Greenwood Village, Colorado
Employee #1: See, I don’t understand that. Explain that to me.
Employee #2: Okay.
Employee #1: Well…go ahead…
1920 W. Lindner Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Innocent Mormon: Hey, does anyone want to lick this?
Rest of coworkers, giggling: Ummmm… No.
Innocent Mormon: I want someone else to lick it, I hate licking it myself.
Helpful coworker: Just go get your finger wet and rub it on there.
South Salt Lake City, Utah
Manager to employee: Yeah, just put it right in there… It's okay, I got tested this morning! (15 minutes later) Oh, it's infectious. I have to put cream on it.
Ybor City, Florida
Salesman: I need you need to move these squares over here on the plan.
Engineer: You mean the rectangles?
Salesman: Geez–you engineers and your math. Yeah, whatever.
Auburn Hills, Michigan
Working mom to teenage daughter: I am not going to the store this minute to buy you a lava lamp. I’m at work!
Ohio
Overheard by: Jewels
Customer: I need fabric.
CSR: OK. What type of fabric do you need?
Customer: I need fabric.
CSR: Um, could you be more specific?
Customer: I need fabric that looks like cloth.
425 West 15th Street
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: Can I borrow a colored pen?
Co-worker #2: Here’s a red one, but I may need it later for drawing fire.
525 7th Avenue
New York, NY
Skinny middle-aged man to large middle-aged receptionist: May I borrow your phone?
Receptionist: Sure, sugar.
Skinny middle-aged man, after calmly speaking with another doctor: And when I get there, I'm going to crap on your desk! (to receptionist) Thank you for letting me borrow your phone.
Receptionist: You're welcome, sugar.
Gastroenterology Office
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: the intern
Jamaican contractor: Hey, have some coconut.
White employee: No, man, I'm full.
Jamaican contractor: Dude, this is a coconut. It doesn't matter how full you are.
Edmonton
Canadia
