Employee: You look like a hobo office worker! Can I take a picture?
Los Angeles, California
Employee: You look like a hobo office worker! Can I take a picture?
Los Angeles, California
New girl to male employee: Teach me how to say something sexy in Spanish.
Male employee: Okay. Like what?
New girl: How about “put your dick in my mouth”?
Spa
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Can't Wait Till i Leave
Waiter to customer: I’m sorry, but we’re out of swiss. Would you like mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: Swiss.
Waiter: No, we don’t have swiss. Do you want mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: You don’t have swiss?
Waiter: Nope, but we do have mozzarella and cheddar.
Customer: That sucks!
Waiter: Yeah, I’m sorry. Would you like either mozzarella or cheddar?
Customer: What other cheeses do you have?
Waiter: Mozzarella and cheddar.
Customer: Don’t you have any other cheeses?
Salt Lake City, Utah
CSR on phone: If the item you need to return doesn’t fit back in the box, maybe you could snip off the edges to make it fit. Either way it will all get back to our warehouse.
225 Bush Street
San Francisco, California
Female coworker: Can I ask you a question?
AP clerk: I'm not allowed to answer questions anymore.
Female coworker: Never? Regardless of what the question is?
AP clerk: That's what they told me.
Deerfield, Illinois
Worker #1: Thanks for the pretzels.
Worker #2: Oh, now the bag is dirty.
Worker #1: I’ll have you know my hands are clean. I sit here at my desk and sanitize them all day.
Worker #3: You know, I can sanitize you. All women need to be sanitized.
9725 Datapoint Drive
San Antonio, Texas
Male flight attendant holding garbage bag and walking down aisle: Trash, garbage, jewelery, wallets. Trash, garbage, jewelery, wallets…
Continental Flight from Berlin to Newark, New Jersey
Female coworker to male coworker: I need some edible glitter!
Dallas, Texas
Guy: You want me to buy 60 dollars’ worth of butt-paste?
4803 Deer Lake Drive
Jacksonville, Florida
Worker #1: Are you coming out for a drink after work tonight?
Worker #2: I’m meeting some friends out afterwards, so I’m going to go home first to get changed.
Worker #1: Why do you need to get changed? Just wear what you have on, it’s fine!
Worker #2: Well all my friends dress like skanks and I don’t want to look overdressed.
Hay Street
West Perth
Australia
