Woman: Can you tell me what's the temperature in Frankfurt?
Check-in agent: Fahrenheit?
Woman: No, Frankfurt.
International Airport
Mexico City
Mexico
Overheard by: Trece
Woman: Can you tell me what's the temperature in Frankfurt?
Check-in agent: Fahrenheit?
Woman: No, Frankfurt.
International Airport
Mexico City
Mexico
Overheard by: Trece
Boss: Then Megan* and Elizabeth* can review it.
Lisa: Don't you mean Courtney*?
Boss: Oops! Excuse me. You're right.
Lisa: I know; We Americans all sound alike.
Boss: No, not really. I do the same thing with my kids.
Lisa: Are they all the same gender?
Boss: Not at all. I've got three of them–one of each.
Lisa: Okay. One's male and one's female. What's the third one?
Boss: (silence)
Redwood City, California
Urologist: Can we do a time-out, please?
Nurse: Mr. Henderson* is here for a cystoscopy. You've seen this patient before.
Urologist: I've never heard of him. (uncovers the field) Hmmmm. I don't remember the patient's name, but I have seen this penis before.
Hospital, Virginia
Overheard by: CJ Wiretap
Patricia: Sometimes, and it depends on the day I'm having, I am either “Positive Patty” or “Pessimistic Patricia.”
IT chick: Yeah? Sometimes, and it depends on the day I'm having, I put whiskey in my coffee.
University of Rochester, New York
Overheard by: Jennay
Bill: I wish we had a bar like Cheers where everyone knows your name.
Shawn: Maybe we could wear nametags next time we go to a happy hour?
Howard: We wore nametags at your company's happy hour fundraiser and no one remembered shit.
Shawn: Hey!
Bill: That's because the employees of Shawn's company are slow in the head.
Shawn: Okay, we may be slow, but at least we aren't uh… (pause) I'll think of something (scratches head) just give me a minute.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Management Ninja!
PA: Buffy Capri, please call the operator, Buffy Capri.
Secretary #1: Who the hell is Buffy Capri?
Secretary #2: I don’t know. An exotic dancer or a porn star?
Secretary #1: Buffy Capri, you’re wanted on the lido deck.
Secretary #3: She’s a paralegal. With a dumb name.
Atlanta, Georgia
(Tom* is juggling plastic Easter eggs).
Chris: Dude, you have to make up a clown name for yourself.
Tom: How about (pause) Naughty T?
Chris: Dude! Nobody is going to hire you for parties if your name is Naughty T!
Tom: I can be an adult clown. You know, half naked.
Vandam Street
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Soapnana
Front desk agent #1: So anything involving more than five people is considered a gang-bang then, since you don’t have “five-some”. That just sounds weird.
Front desk agent #2: It has to do more with the girl-to-guy ratio. If the ratio is close to one to one, then it’s an orgy. Otherwise, it’s a gang-bang.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Lobby Patron
Employee #1: Where does our CEO go? He randomly disappears for days.
Employee #2: He goes to CEO mountain, where all the CEOs stand around and circle jerk.
[CEO walks in minutes later.]Employee #1: Hey Ben*, where were you? CEO mountain?
CEO: [Laughs.] Yeah, CEO mountain.
Employee #2: What do you guys do up there?
CEO: We all stand around and talk about our truculent staff.
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Engineer during meeting: So I tried to ask Hitler yesterday, but he was no help.
Senlac Drive
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: hope he doesn’t know I’m jewish…
