Names

Employee #1, looking at t-shirt designed by Daisy Fuentes with a spanish word printed on it: God, when did Daisy Fuentes become Spanish?
Employee #2: Hasn't she always been Spanish?
Employee #1: No! She thinks she's so cool she can just decide to be Spanish one day.
Employee #2: But her last name sounds Spanish.
Employee #1, pronouncing it wrong: Fuentes? Whatever, that isn't Spanish. She's so fake. God, I hate people that are fake.

Kohl's Department Store
Minnesota

Overheard by: Expect Great Things

Boss to web developer: Didn't we do that site for… For… Ugh… You know… Dick bag motherfucker…
Web developer: Um… No… I don't remember doing anything for Dick Bag motherfucker.

Red Bank, New Jersey

CSR to customer, on phone: Forgive me, there's going to be a lot of Johnsons.

Golden, Colorado

Overheard by: Maho

Worker #1 referring to a computer file titled as her name: Are you in me?
Worker #2: Yeah, I'm in you.

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: a little small

Delegating My Memory May Have Been a Mistake

Managing director: Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?
Past retirement age CEO: What did Frank say about my hair?
Managing director: Nothing, I said “Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?”
Past retirement age CEO: What did he say about my hair?
Entire office: Frank hasn't said anything about your hair!
(phone rings)
Past retirement age CEO, answering phone: Hello, Frank speaking–I mean, Graham speaking.

London
England

Overheard by: Who's Frank?

Male coworker: Who was the other guy in CHIPS? Not Erik Estrada, the other one.
Female coworker: It was officer Johnathan Baker and… Arthur Poncharelli?

Glastonbury, Connecticut

Overheard by: James Logan

Cube dweller #1, on phone: “Yes, “h” as in “Hitler.”
Cube dweller #2: Wow… Did he really just say that?

Kansas City, Missouri

Worker #1: My roommate has this book about all the kinds of poops you can have and what it means about your health.
Worker #2: Kinds of poops?
Worker #1: Yeah, like floaters, sinkers, clean poop…
Worker #2: Clean poop?!
Worker #1: The kind that slides right out and leaves your butt clean.
Worker #2: That should be called “perfect poop”.

Loyola Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Social worker on the phone: No sir, the hospital does not offer financial assistance for penile prosthesis. Well, have you spoken with Dr. Wang in the erectile dysfunction clinic?

Holcombe & Bertner
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Just the Secretary

Assistant: They’ve already designed the corn maze for a Lewis & Clark theme.
Account executive: Why did they choose Superman?
Assistant: [Stumped silence.]

Thomas Street
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Pants