A Move Known As “The IT Sidestep”

Temp: We found some old mice in the trashcan. I don’t really think they belong in there.
Tech guy: I think that’s a problem for facilities. Are they dead or alive?

Maryville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Cinderella

Posted on March 29, 2016
Animals, Death, Health & Hygiene, Interns & Temps, Tech People, Tennessee

So Just Bring Me the Cup of Coffee and We'll See If It Works

Male coworker on phone: Well, in this alternate reality that's how babies are conceived.

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Posted on March 20, 2016
Coworkers, Health & Hygiene, New York, On the phone, Sexuality, Weirdness

The Ability to Arrive at a Logical Conclusion Is Not Widely Distributed in the Population

Girl #1: There is so much secondhand smoke here that it’s going to kill us eventually.
Girl #2: That’s for sure!
Girl #1: It’s okay, though. I have life insurance.

Local bar
Burlington, North Carolina

Overheard by: Bartender Snickering Nearby

Posted on March 7, 2016
Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, North Carolina, The Cafe

Then She’ll Say “Stop Eating Your Ferns”

Factory worker: It’s great, you know. I can go to my doctor and say stuff like: “This stuff is green, and it’s making me sick.”

Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Anonymous Temp

Posted on March 3, 2016
Colors, Compliments, Coworkers, Default, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, Maryland

For Once That Had Nothing to Do With It

Boss lady: How was your weekend?
Top employee: Well, I spent Sunday morning in the hospital because…
Boss lady, interrupting: Was it because you're a cracked-out whore?

Forest Grove, Oregon

Overheard by: Jessi-ca

Posted on February 29, 2016
Dumb Bosses, Health & Hygiene, Insults, Oregon, Substance Use & Abuse

Well, Yes, But Only on an Evolutionary Time Scale

Young white girl: You need to wear sunscreen. My mommy told me that skin gets dark if you don’t wear sunscreen.
Young black girl: I was BORN dark.
Young black boy: Me, too.
Young white girl: Really?
Young black boy: I wear sunscreen, too.
Young white girl: You were born that way? So it’s not the sun? Really?

Preschool
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Amused Pre-K teacher

Posted on February 28, 2016
General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Kids, Questions, Race, Texas, The Classroom, Weather

Nah, You’ve Got Nine Months to Pick a Name

Girl #1: So we had sex last night and we didn’t use a condom and I’m ovulating.
Girl #2: Uh huh.
Girl #1: Should I be worried?

10th & Washington
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on February 27, 2016
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania, Places, Questions

2PM Post-meeting

Worker #1: I can’t believe [Jim] didn’t show up for the meeting.
Worker #2: I know. He has some nerve.
Worker #1: I hope he gets a painful rash in the anal region…if you know what I mean.

245 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Posted on February 21, 2016
Body Parts, Coworkers, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Meetings, New York, Wishes

The Klan Has Fallen on Hard Times

Ghetto girl on cell: Whitey snuck into my apartment and set my alarm clock off by 12 hours! I ain’t never snuck into no white person’s house and put poison in they’re food! But Whitey’s oppressin’ me. Whitey snuck into my apartment while I was in the shower and stole my underwear! While I was in the shower!

545 Bus
Outside Seattle, Washington

Posted on February 14, 2016
Bimbettes, Crazies, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Race, Washington

And the Masturbating Off the Stage Entirely, Please.

Art director: Let's keep the spit in the shadows.

Culver City, California

Overheard by: LaLa Land

Posted on February 10, 2016
Advice, California, Designers and Photographers, Health & Hygiene, Weirdness

Health & Hygiene