Office worker #1: Do we need to talk about how to handle a psychiatric emergency with her?
Office worker #2: If it happens, I'm shutting my door on her crazy ass.
Atlanta, Georgia
Office worker #1: Do we need to talk about how to handle a psychiatric emergency with her?
Office worker #2: If it happens, I'm shutting my door on her crazy ass.
Atlanta, Georgia
Patient who just failed drug test: I need a note to stay out of work.
Doctor: What do you want me to say? That you're too stoned from taking too many Vicodin to be productive?
Patient: Sure, but would you mind wording it better?
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Amazed Nurse
Boss on phone walking around office: Look, what you’re needing is something more powerful. You should try Viagra.
Overland Park, Kansas
Engineer #1 to #2: What the hell is up with your hair?
Engineer #2: Nothing, leave me alone!
Boss to engineer #2: Don't you shower? You look like a bush hog.
Engineer #1: Yeah, you look like a bush hog.
Engineer #2: Of course I showered. I washed my hair last night. Leave me alone. What the hell is a “bush hog”?
Engineer #3: A homosexual hedgehog.
Engineer #2: Does my hair really look that bad?
Coolidge, Arizona
Co-worker: If I killed someone, he would totally lie to the police for me. Either he would be my alibi or he would lie and say he did it so I could be free.
225 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Am I Next
Income auditor guy: I want to buy my fiance a gift like make-up.
Income auditor gal: Cool, how much you set for it?
Income auditor guy: 30 Egyptian pounds.
Income auditor gal: You could buy a blusher with 30 EGP.
Income auditor guy: Well then, how about cheap make-up?
Income auditor gal: You can’t buy anything with 30 EGP.
Income auditor guy: Well how much do you think I need?
Income auditor gal: About 500 EGP to buy her one of those cute boxes that’s full of make-up and perfumes.
Income auditor guy: With 500 EGP, I could send her to a plastic surgeon and get change.
Translated from the Arabic.
Le Meridien Makadi Bay Hotel
South Hurghada, Egypt
Woman #1: So we went shopping this weekend and I found the perfect dress but the chest part was too small.
Woman #2: You would think with boob jobs being so popular that they would just make tops bigger.
Woman #1: Yeah, just like SUVs.
2800 28th Street
Santa Monica, California
Receptionist #1: Where's Linda today?
Receptionist #2: She's gonna be out for a while, she's having surgery on her thyroid.
Dentist: I didn't even know she had a thyroid.
Bayside, New York
American patient on cell: …and I don't even know *how* it happened, I remember I had my pants on…
Emergency Room
Germany
Coworker #1: So, what is a Thai roll?
Coworker #2: Well, Thailand is a country…
Coworker #3, laughing: Oops, I just farted…I laughed so hard a fart came out.
Bethpage, New York
Overheard by: Gette
