Woman: What the hell? People disappear like it’s the damn Matrix.
32 Old Slip
New York, NY
Overheard by: Kevz
Co-worker: You know, it’s pretty hard to kiss your own ass…
1500 E. Medical Center Drive
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Large effeminate guy with German accent: These are the metallic pencils you do not have! (waves crayola box at employee)
Employee: Okay… Sir?
German guy: Do you know vat I am making? A portrait of Al Pacino! To really capture his manliness! Once I did a picture in charcoal but my art teacher said to really get the effect, I vould haf to burn it!
Joann's Fabrics
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: manybellsdown
Cubicle worker #1, slamming something on desk: A big cockroach just crawled across my desk.
Cubicle worker #2: Yeah, these were the desks with the roach problem.
Cubicle worker #1: Roach problem?
Cubicle worker #2: It's all Mindy's fault.
Arlington, Texas
Hot Asian: Why do we have to talk about war shit? Why not talk about our bratwurst stories? I had one with my dad at the county stadium when I was eleven – it was great!
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: ncarch
African-American co-worker to Caucasian co-worker: You just walked a block through the ghetto to get some chicken? Did you get a five-piece and some biscuits? That’s so black of you.
1555 Central Parkway
Cincinnati, Ohio
Project manager: I hate it when people tell you they have to look for something, because then they have to find it.
Oak Brook, Illinois
Cube dweller #1: You've worked with giraffes?
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, transporting them is a real pain. They go in an open trailer, and every time you get to an overpass, you have to either let air out of all the tires to fit under it, or you have to stop, back them out of the trailer, walk them around the overpass, get them back in the trailer… It takes forever to get anywhere.
Cube dweller #1: Can't you just teach them to duck?
Cube dweller #2: (long pause) Not at those speeds.
Pearl Street
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Explains giraffe-shaped divots in overpasses
Cubicle drone to another: Your desk gets jacked so much, I stopped stealing from you. That's how bad it is.
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
