Dispatcher, deciding whether to continue an affair: I’m not very good at, like, breaking hearts, y’know?
Seattle, Washington
Dispatcher, deciding whether to continue an affair: I’m not very good at, like, breaking hearts, y’know?
Seattle, Washington
Co-worker: She said I was giving her an ulcer…But I don’t even have ulcers!
1127 Euclid Avenue
Cleveland, Ohio
Timid 20-year-old: Excuse me, ma’am…
Sassy 30-year-old: I know you didn’t just ‘Ma’am’ me!
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Office Assistant: If I go back to the phone without an answer this guy is going to eat me out.
Manager: I think you mean chew you out.
1125 Colonel Drive
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Overheard by: WOW @ CU
Banker: Yeah, he’s losin’ his eyesight…He can barely see now. He’s got that immaculate degeneration or whatever it’s called. But he still builds things with power tools. It’s pretty amazing…but kinda scary.
200 Nationwide Boulevard
Columbus, Ohio
Drone #1: This is one thing I didn’t miss last week.
Drone #2: What? Elevators?
Drone #1: Yeah.
Drone #3: Don’t they have them in West Virginia?
175 S. Third Street
Columbus, Ohio
VP: That would be an unintended put option…as in put us out of our misery.
910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas
E-mail admin: I am not taking a trouble ticket where she says, ‘I meant to send a smiley face but instead sent a frowny face.’
St. Louis, Missouri
Producer: Alan Greenspan is leaving the Fed and so our business anchor is crying.
1 Time Warner Center
New York, NY
Overheard by: The McCrum
Employee: Can I help you?
Customer: Hi. Yes, may I have a turkey artichoke panini?
Employee: No.
Customer: No?
Employee: No. We don’t have those.
Customer: But it’s right there on your board. Do you mean you ran out of them today?
Employee: Yeah, that’s what I said. Order the other turkey sandwich, it’s exactly the same.
Customer: Actually I think I’ll just have a salad.
Employee: I’ll be right back. [Goes in back room.]Employee: Did you hear what I just said back there?
Customer: Ummm… No.
Employee: Good. I mean, cause it wasn’t about you.
Customer: Ok…
Panera Bread Co.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
