Manager: How are we supposed to get any work done if all of our developers keep getting sucked off?
4740 44th Avenue SW
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: g-man
Manager: How are we supposed to get any work done if all of our developers keep getting sucked off?
4740 44th Avenue SW
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: g-man
Employee is showing off her new belly-dancing outfit.
Supervisor: So, you’re really going to belly-dance in public?
Employee: Yeah!
Supervisor: I never really liked going to strip clubs when I was younger.
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: I love this place!
Telemarketing lady: There’ll be no laughing in this office. That’s right, no levitation.
121 Monmouth Street
Red Bank, NJ
Overheard by: Heidi Schwartz
Program manager: I think we should adopt the behaviours from the charter for meetings of the [Partnerships] section. [Steven], why don’t you read them out?
[Steven]: Respect other’s opinions and feelings, stay focused, turn off mobile phones, question self before others, participate enthusiastically and share experience and knowledge, have some fun….
Employee: Anyone telling me to have some fun at meetings better think again.
Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Ness
Data center drone: God! I hate sharing workstations with the night shift. Every day when I come in, my chair smells like ass and the desk smells like armpit. Doesn’t [Tim] ever take a bath?
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Overheard by: El Gee
Co-worker #1: Have you seen [Amy]?
Secretary: Not in the past several minutes.
Co-worker #1: I hope she hurries up. I have to study for a test and my boss is breathing down my neck.
Co-worker #2: Hey! How are you?
Co-worker #1: I’d be better if [Amy] would hurry up and get here. I have a boss waiting on me and stuff I have to do.
Elevator dings. All look expectantly toward elevator, hoping to see [Amy]. Someone else comes out.
All in unison, disappointedly: Awww.
Paranoid co-worker #3: What? What did I do?
401 Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee
Secretary: Why are these reports formatted so weird?
Boss: Well, because the Germans made them. Those Germans are weird.
Secretary: Hey, now… Be careful, I’m German.
Boss: Uh oh, you’re not a lesbian too, are you?
Secretary: Well, I’m not really German.
Main Street Financial Office
East Hartford, Connecticut
Admin #1: Without extremes, normalcy wouldn’t exist.
Admin #2: Wow, we’re getting heavy now.
Admin #3: Back from tour one day, and you’re already waxing poetic?
Admin #1: Wait, isn’t that what fractals and Jurassic Park are about?
Admin #2 & 3: What?
Admin #1: Extremes, fractals and Jurassic Park. Wasn’t anyone a nerd like me?
Admin #2: Um, no.
3 Lafayette Avenue
Brooklyn, New York
Co-worker #1: I just can’t get enough sleep. My mom wakes me up yelling that I get too much sleep, then I drive to work and almost fall asleep!
Co-worker #2: Uh huh.
Co-worker #1: Doesn’t she understand I need my sleep? She’s driving me crazy.
Co-worker #3 [from down the hall]: Why don’t you go to bed earlier, when she puts your jammies out?
6200 Savoy Drive
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Frankendude
Attorney #1: I stepped on a baby bird this morning on the way into the courthouse.
Attorney #2: The jokes are right. We don’t have souls.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
