Office worker, every time her phone rings: Fuck. What now?
Mississauga
Canadia
Office worker, every time her phone rings: Fuck. What now?
Mississauga
Canadia
Cubicle prisoner to herself: I haven’t shoved the keyboard down my throat yet.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: Everyday Monday
Receptionist: Oh, I forgot today was Friday the 13th. I do pay attention to that, because I was in a bad car accident in high school on a Friday the 13th.
HR assistant: So no going out and drinking tonight, then?
Receptionist (bemusedly): Well…
HR assistant: You’ll just stay home and drink, right?
Receptionist: (laughs) Yeah, that’s when you know you’re an alcoholic, when you stay home and drink.
HR assistant: And you’re pregnant.
Receptionist: Right. Don’t want people being judgmental at the bar.
Airport Way
Seattle, Washington
Student: Hi, I was wondering what time you closed.
Front desk clerk: We close tonight at midnight.
Student: Yeah, but what time exactly? Like 9 pm?
Seattle, Washington
Security guy: I could be an officer, you know.
Sarge: Oh, shut the fuck up.
Security guy: No, really. It’s just politics stopping me! Just politics!
Sarge: Oh, is Rudy fucking Giuliani preventing you from becoming a police officer? Why don’t you fucking explain that to all of us?
Public Safety
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Shaye
Male payroll processor: If you want me to process your payroll, you have to put the time you came in and left.
Female coworker: I was out sick. Did you see that I used sick time?
Male payroll processor: Yeah! What’s your point?
Female coworker: I was out sick! I didn’t come in or leave!
Male payroll processor: Whatever! More work for me!
Speedway
Tucson, Arizona
Admin: Here’s your new door tag.
Advisor: “Stud serv prog coord”? That’s my new title?
Admin: Well, it’s abbreviated.
Advisor: Can we make the text smaller so it’s not abbreviated?
Admin: Why? You don’t want to be a stud service?
Advisor: I’m afraid they wouldn’t get their money’s worth.
Lake Road
Merced, California
Overheard by: sooo true.
Accountant: It’s snowed a ton, the roads are really bad today. They’ve closed a bunch of schools.
Receptionist: I hope they cancel my online class!
Washington Square
Lansing, Michigan
Overheard by: No level of stupidity surprises me anymore
Old drone #1: You really gotta just close your eyes and gulp it down, I find it spicy, although my daughter says it’s bitter.
Old drone #2: Yeah, I like it though, just don’t get any on your dress, it’s a bear to get out of clothes.
Cindel Drive
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
(Woman puts groceries on checkstand, including home pregnancy test.)
Male clerk: Man, I have been selling a lot of these lately!
(Woman laughs nervously.)
Male clerk to female clerk, waving test in the air: Haven’t you been selling a lot of these?
Female clerk: Yeah, I have! It must be spring, you know how people get!
(Woman is now horrified.)
Male clerk, handing woman her groceries: Well, good luck either way!
Safeway
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Really? Really?
