The Workshop Required Them All to Crochet “Fags Is the Best Girlfriends” on Little Pillows

Black female coworker: Oooh, honey, I love me some fags. Fags is the best girlfriends.
White queer coworker: That’s ’cause we all want to be black women!
White female coworker: Can the rest of us get workplace diversity hours for listening to this shit?

Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Giggling in my cube

Posted on April 24, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Gays and lesbians, Gripes, Offers and requests, Office Politics, Ohio, Questions, Race, Sexuality, Wishes

I’m Even Making the Groomsmen Get Their Backs Waxed

Manager: We’re getting married in Gibraltar.
Designer: Oh, that sounds nice.
Manager: You know, you’ve heard of Gibraltar. Rocks… Monkeys… Except I don’t like monkeys. I don’t want monkeys in my wedding!

UNC-Chapel Hill
Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Posted on April 24, 2008
Animals, Compliments, Coworkers, Default, Designers and Photographers, Feelings, Geography & History, North Carolina, Relationships

And What Exactly Did He Prove?

CFO: There has to be a way to gather that information.
Financial analyst: But what you are asking me to do is simply guessing. I don’t have tools to gather information that can’t be proven!
CFO: Hey! Socrates only had a stick and sand!

Fourth Street
Berkeley, California

Overheard by: dude

Posted on April 24, 2008
Bosses, California, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Financial Folk, Offers and requests

Which in Wisconsin Often Spells Frostbite

Female worker #1: You know he’s doing a show here, right?
Female worker #2: Oh, someone get me a tissue, my panties are wet.

Barnes & Noble
Greenfield, Wisconsin

Overheard by: darkhorse

Posted on April 24, 2008
Clothes, Coworkers, Default, Offers and requests, Questions, Retail, Sexuality, Wisconsin

I Was a Cornhusker Cheerleader, Y’know

Female clerk: Hey *Mark, you don’t sound like you want to be here today.
Male clerk: And you want to be here today?
Female clerk: You want me to rub it off for ya?

Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Db’s Mom

Posted on April 23, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Employees, Feelings, Nebraska, Offers and requests, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions

I Don’t Even Try to Fit in Anymore

Coworker #1: Yeah, we should go ahead and fix that. Then, when we’re done, we could dance around it like pagans.
Coworker #2: What? I don’t even know what to say to you sometimes.
Coworker #1: Just stand back and pity my mother.

Washington, DC

Posted on April 23, 2008
Advice, Coworkers, Default, Religion, Washington DC, Weirdness, Words

Unless You Wish to Enter the Ranks of Ravaged Interns

Peon #1: But you don’t drink that coffee.
Peon #2: I just want something down my throat.
Peon #1: Oh, you shouldn’t say that.
Peon #2: I mean I just want something warm down my throat.
Peon #1: You shouldn’t say that either.

Stevens Creek Boulevard
Cupertino, California

Posted on April 22, 2008
Advice, Blue Collar, California, Coworkers, Default, Drinking, Meals and Snacks, Sexuality, Wishes, Words

And When I Call Her, She Answers Only to Say, “I’m Not Here– Leave a Message”

VP: I can’t understand some people. I emailed *Karen with a specific question and she just replied, “I am currently out of the office and will return in one week”. Why didn’t she answer my question?

Beachwood, Ohio