I Also Play the Fallopian Tuba

Woman: I really enjoyed your singing this morning.
Girl who sang: Thanks so much!
Woman: Yeah, it’s always so great when someone just sings straight from the ovaries like that.
Girl who sang: Uhh… [Nervous laugh.]

Hotel
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Annah

Posted on May 7, 2008
Body Parts, Compliments, Default, Employees, Feelings, Florida, Service, Sexuality, Weirdness, Words

A World Which Exists Parallel to This One

IT nerd: So, we’ll move that code to production at 5 AM on Thursday.
Programmer: Is that in the morning?

Mt. Prospect Plaza, Illinois

Overheard by: smeagol

Posted on May 7, 2008
Default, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Illinois, Questions, Tech, Tech People, Time Management, Weirdness

Watch Me Erase My Sins

Coworker: Oh my god, you still have Jesus on your pencil.

Pilot Road
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess

Posted on May 7, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Nevada, Religion

Or the Fact That It’s Leaking

Female coworker #1: There he is in his fancy car.
Female coworker #2: Yeah, he’s totally making up for something.
Female coworker #1: See, I drive a family car, so I’m not concerned about the size of my clitoris.

Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: C.note

Posted on May 7, 2008
Body Parts, Canadia, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Insults

Sometimes I Feel Like the Boss Has Finally Lost It

Office worker: So then he launches into this big spiel about how black dogs taste better than white dogs.

Santa Monica Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: matt

Posted on May 6, 2008
Animals, California, Colors, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Employees

Or Do I Have to Call Mark and Ask Him Personally?

Coworker, to the whole group: Does anybody know what the dollar to douche-mark conversion is?

Seminole Trail
Charlottesville, Virginia

Posted on May 6, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Geography & History, Money, Questions, Virginia, Words

Have You Had a Stroke?

Event planner: Oh, damn, this is terrible news. I just lost a snack set-up. First the breakfast burritos and now this! What’s next… Anything but the Swedish fish!

West 23rd Street
New York City, New York

Posted on May 6, 2008
Animals, Default, Feelings, Gripes, New York, Service, Wishes

He May Be on to Us

Employee #1: Where does our CEO go? He randomly disappears for days.
Employee #2: He goes to CEO mountain, where all the CEOs stand around and circle jerk.
[CEO walks in minutes later.]Employee #1: Hey Ben*, where were you? CEO mountain?
CEO: [Laughs.] Yeah, CEO mountain.
Employee #2: What do you guys do up there?
CEO: We all stand around and talk about our truculent staff.

Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on May 6, 2008
Bosses, Coworkers, Default, Employees, Executives, Massachusetts, Names, Office Politics, Questions, Sexuality, Travel

Wish I Was a Sociopath and Didn’t Care

Receptionist, putting her coat on: So, I’ll see you guys on Monday, have a good weekend!
Coworkers, walking out of their offices: Uh… You know it’s only four o’clock, right?
[Silence.]Receptionist, removing coat: Dang, I was almost out the door too. Teaches me to say goodbye.

Dodge Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Overheard by: Brandy

Posted on May 5, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Gripes, Nebraska, Receptionists, Time Management

So Does the Guy Eat the Green Eggs and Ham or What?

Male peon: Lot of words on those pages.
Female peon, trying to read on her lunch break: [Blinks] Yeah… Being a book, and all.
Male peon: Well, I dunno. I never really read any book-books. Just, like, magazines and stuff.
Female peon: [Stares.]

Manor Road
Austin, Texas

Posted on May 5, 2008
Arts, Compare and contrast, Coworkers, Default, Dumb Employees, Employees, General Idiocy, Texas, Weirdness

Default

Have You Had a Stroke?