Manager to coworker in next office: Why does it smell like rotten meat in here?
Coworker: Oh, sorry. I'll put my shoes back on.
Chicago, Illinois
Manager to coworker in next office: Why does it smell like rotten meat in here?
Coworker: Oh, sorry. I'll put my shoes back on.
Chicago, Illinois
Applicant, explaining multi-year gap in employment history: I got sent to jail for stabbing a guy twelve times, but it was bullshit.
Manager: Oh yeah?
Applicant: Yeah. I only stabbed him six times; I just had two knives in my hand. It was bullshit.
Manager: Hmm. I see.
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Coworker: Just to let you know, I need to leave at noon today because I have a leak.
Office manager: That sounds like a personal problem.
Navy Yard
Washington, DC
Cube dweller: I can't discipline my children, they don't listen to me.
Boss: Nothing better than spanking a wet, naked ass.
Peabody, Massachusetts
Employee: I just pulled up my information on the system and had a question.
Manager: You can't pull up your own information, you can pull up Sophie's, but not your own.
Employee: Oh, I didn't do anything on my file, I was just playing.
Manager: You can play with each other, just not yourselves.
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: Matt Bangsund
Middle management guy: What's shaking?
Indian tech guy: What is shaking? You want me to stop something from shaking?
Middle management guy: No, I…
Indian tech guy: Are you having a technology crisis? Is your desktop vibrating?
Middle management guy: No! How's it going? How are you, is what I'm asking.
Indian tech guy: Oh, I see. I am fine. Is your desktop alright, though?
Middle management guy: Yes, yes. Everything is working. (sighs)
Washington, DC
Male supervisor on phone to boss: Okay, I'll do the cash out today, oh and can you bring makeup tomorrow and turn me into an old woman? (pause) Great, thanks!
Olypmic Peninsula, Washington
Overheard by: great scott
Boss, talking about bad ex-employee: Dick was a real pain in the ass.
1900 Avenue of the Stars
Century City, California
Overheard by: JuliaTastic
Italian service guy: Maybe we can bring-a some nice-a cheese, some nice-a mozzarella…
Italian VP: This is a fishing trip! Bah, you've never been on a fishing trip. This isn't gonna be fun.
Rosedale, Maryland
Overheard by: Tempin' it up
Sales rep: Why didn't you say “woo-hoo”? Is it not big enough for you?
Assistant manager: Woo-hoo! There, you happy?
Sales rep: Yes.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
