Coworker to boss: Wait, rewind. I didn't understand what you said.
Boss: Blahdebludebloop! That was me rewinding.
Littleton, New Hampshire
Coworker to boss: Wait, rewind. I didn't understand what you said.
Boss: Blahdebludebloop! That was me rewinding.
Littleton, New Hampshire
Project manager, reading e-mail from vendor: Hey, Travis*! What the fuck is this?
Travis*: Oh, yeah, that guy. He's like the fuckin' Mr Rogers of switchgear. Always with the “have a great day!”
Project manager: Hmm…
Travis*: And I'm all “you've got $140,000 in liquidated damages, so shut the fuck up, bitch, and get me my stuff!”
Fallon, Nevada
Overheard by: trippin on DayQuil
Store manager: Someone smells like a hamster!
Startled employee: What?
Store manager, sniffing startled employee: It's you! You smell like a hamster!
Startled employee: I don't own a hamster.
Toy Store
Bridgewater, New Jersey
Overheard by: Startled Customer
Cubicle farmer: Did you know that George Bush is a genius?
55 East 52nd Street
New York, NY
HQ division head: Nothing is too good for down range, therefore down range shall get nothing.
U.S. Forces “Diplomatic Training”
Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
Boss: You look nice today.
Employee: Thanks, I wore a bra.
Bystander: Wait, what?
Employee, demonstrating: See… Look, the girls are free and easy today. They can do cirles too. Too bad I don’t have any tassles.
Elm Street
Coalinga, California
Overheard by: Still losing the TMI Olympics
Coworker: Did you know Tom* was fired?
Boss: I guess he was bolivious to the the fact he just didn't have the education to keep up with the workload.
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: stuckinacube
Boss: There’s pizza in the back room for everyone in appreciation of your hard work!
Employee #1: Hey, Jen*, can you save me a slice? I can’t leave my desk right now.
Employee #2: Sure, I’ll bring two back. There should be enough for two slices per person.
Employee #3: You know, I work harder than the rest of you all combined; therefore, I should get the most fuckin’ pizza. Does anyone else here work as hard as me? I don’t fuckin’ think so. So that means that I get more pizza. I don’t want to see anyone eating more fuckin’ pizza than me.
Employee #2: So, Meredith*, what kind of pizza did you want?
Employee #1: Um, I think I’ll just… stick with my yogurt… Thanks.
570 Worcester Road
Framingham, Massachusetts
Tech: So do you think that we should go for this project?
Boss: Absolutely. The client is ridiculously stupid, but they are open-minded.
Bishopsgate, London
Overheard by: whyamIhere?
Male boss to female employee: Hey, did you get all that done?
Female employee: Yep, just finished.
Boss: Wow! You da man! I mean… You're not a man… But you da man! You da equivalent of da man!
Female employee: Uh… Okay.
Boss, with no enthusiasm: You da man…(walks away)
Bellingham, Washington
