Rule of Thumb: Don’t Hire Anyone Who Has Ever Performed a Mortal Kombat Move in Real Life

Applicant, explaining multi-year gap in employment history: I got sent to jail for stabbing a guy twelve times, but it was bullshit.
Manager: Oh yeah?
Applicant: Yeah. I only stabbed him six times; I just had two knives in my hand. It was bullshit.
Manager: Hmm. I see.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu