Customer: You did a wonderful job on your Christmas tree!
Boss: Actually, my staff did all the work.
Staff #1: No, you set the tree up.
Boss: Yes, but you added some ornaments.
Staff #1: Only a few, but I fluffed up the branches so I guess I’m the office fluffer.
Cleveland, Ohio
Perky female temp, walking over to supervisor's cubicle: Hey, I heard we got a new fax machine! Awesome!
Female supervisor: Yeah, it's pretty exciting. They're setting it up right now.
Male supervisor: There seems to be some erotic fascination with the new fax machine. Everyone's over there crowded around it.
(awkward silence)
Perky female temp: I'm gonna go look at it right now!
Female supervisor: Yeah, me too!
Bloomington, Minnesota
Overheard by: I'm pretty sure he meant
Boss: Yeah, the credit card rates were higher than the balls of a giraffe.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Nance
Boss at computer: So, when you say “inbox”… What exactly do you mean by that?
Manhattan, New York
Boss: I have an open-door policy.
Worker: He doesn't have a door.
Boss: Right.
Homestead, Florida
Architect on phone: Alright, you’re not understanding me. [pause] Okay, what if I keep this one, but eat the other one… Look, I just need to know can I get any diseases or bacteria from these kittens or what?
2020 South King Street
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: crackin up
Boss: Did you pick up [Bruce]?
Owner: Yes, I picked him up.
[Bruce]: Do you think it’s a sign to go home when you run out of gas in your car at a gas station who runs out of gas?
101 East Main Street
Farmington, New Mexico
Branch manager on phone: Hello? Ok, put him through. Hey, Matt*! Hold on, let me shut my office door… Yeah… Yeah… I do love my wife…
Cubicle chick: Did he just say what I think he said? ‘I do love my wife’?
Sales guy: Yes, but I think you missed a part. He said ‘I do love my wife, but…’
Cubicle chick: It’s gonna be a goood day!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Boss: I told you not to shit in the bathroom.
1123 Broadway
New York, NY
Male sales manager to female coworker: Yes, I've taken the “Sexual harassment and workplace violence” classes, and I can do both!
Waterloo, Iowa
