Age and ageing

Secretary: The mailman was supposed to come back today, but I haven’t seen him yet.
Agent: Which mailman was it? The old guy, or the nerdy guy with the glasses?
Secretary: No, it was an Asian guy.
Agent: Oh. He’s probably having lunch again.

1610 SE Bybee Boulevard
Portland, Orgeon

Cube clown: My mother used to do weird stuff when I was growing up. Like, I still sleep with my foot outside the covers, and she used to crawl in on her hands and knees and grab my foot.

Dallas, Texas

Supervisor: Today is my older son's birthday. He's 12 now.
Underling: Uh-oh. He's a tween!
Supervisor: Yeah, he's feeling himself.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: hopefully not at school

Sales guy: Remember when you were a kid and got crabs? The medicine would come in a plain brown box like that.

Asbury Park, New Jersey

Overheard by: (to the)

Sweaty, middle-aged man in running shorts: Hey,wait! Hey, wait! How old are you two?
Young business woman #1: Why?
Sweaty, middle-aged man in running shorts: I just wanted ask one of you out, but I can’t tell how old you are under your sunglasses.
Young business woman #2: Umm…no. We’re working.
Sweaty, middle-aged man: Oh, never mind.

2825 Eastlake Avenue East
Seattle, Washington

50-something admin talking about a gay couple she knew in the past: Back then there was an astigmatism associated with it.

Medical Center
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Wow am I glad my last day is in a week.

40-something editor: Lunch? These youngsters are weak! Didn't you used to get through 15 hours on coffee and nicotine alone?
60-something editor-in-chief: And whiskey!

West Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: I prefer Red Bull and Natty Boh

Female co-worker #1: So my ob-gyn has been seeing all these young girls for their annuals this summer. She was amazed at how much sex they’re having. Like 2 to 3 times a day. She had to tell them they had to stop having intercourse for a month so the Pill could take effect, and they say, “What are we supposed to do all summer?” She was shocked.
Female co-worker #2: How old are these girls?
Female co-worker #1: She said they’re between 17 and 20 years old.
Female co-worker #2: Geez. Even if I had time to have sex 2 times a day, I’d have better things to do!
Female co-worker #1: Yeah, like clean up after my teenagers!

Motor Vehicle Building
Trenton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Not getting any either

Recent male college grad: So I just quit my job…
Recent female college grad: Oh my god, that’s awesome!
Recent male college grad: I love our age group- everyone’s excited and envious of me -and not appalled…

San Francisco, Califronia

Overheard by: Still Employed… Unfortunately

Female manager: So the guy said that's why they leave traps for mice, but not rats.
Female coworker: I thought mice grew up into rats.

St Petersburg, Florida