Age and ageing

Coworker #1: And I still had this stomach bug, but I'd just drank all this fruit punch, and my mom was calling me, and I made into the hallway before I puked fruit punch all over the wall, and I was like “I'm coming, mom!”
Coworker #2: Oh, god, how old were you?
Coworker #1: This was like six months ago.

Columbia, Missouri

Hipster: You know, you can really tell who loved the Smurfs as a kid.

610 SW Broadway
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Maggie Mae

Coworker, about another: He's just younger than me, age-wise.

San Diego, California

Overheard by: eff youuu

Training teacher: So, what are some things that you guys think are covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act?
Male teen student: Obesity?
Training teacher, with blank stare: Um, I don't think so. Anyone else?
Female teen student: How about being an old person?
Training teacher: Oooooooh boy. How about we just take a look at this slide up here…

Duane Reade Career Center
Manhattan, New York

Coworker, about inappropriate supervisor: It's like working in the geriatric Jersey Shore.


Older cube dweller: That was the title of a great Rascals song. Have you heard of The Rascals?
Younger cube dweller: No, I'm young. And foreign.

Troy, New York

Attorney’s wife: I’m getting so fat.
Attorney: You’re not fat.
Attorney’s wife: Aw, well…
Attorney interrupts: You’re old. You just look fat.

319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky

50-something man: Well, I have to tell you: for a woman in her 50s, you still look great.
50-something woman, flattered: Yeah?
50-something man: Oh, yeah. If we weren't both married, and you didn't work for me, I'd definitely try to nail ya.

Westbury, New York

Overheard by: Big Larry

Tubby manager: I need to lose some weight.
Blunt manager: How about you quit eating like a twelve-year-old whose parents aren't home from work yet, chunk-style?

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Old Australian man trying to flirt with young female barista: Remember back in the old ages when we could burn women at the stake? That was lovely!
Young female barista: Hahaha!

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: jerry