Age and ageing

Male coworker: Someone just called me “sir.”
Female coworker: What's wrong with that?
Male coworker: It's the same with “ma'am.” Once you are called “sir” you know you have lost all sexual appeal.

13th Street
Manhattan, New York

Supervisor #1: I smell mothballs.
Supervisor #2: Probably just my old body.

1143 West 116th Street
Carmel, Indiana

Overheard by: Samantha

Manager, about co-worker's brother: He really should've started with the mafia at a younger age.

Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

IT guy #1: Asian. Asiaaaann.
IT guy #2: Like, 800 years old. A thousand. Thousands of years old.
IT guy #1: Asian. Asian. Asian.

43rd & Madison
New York City, New York

Overheard by: WTF?!

Delegating My Memory May Have Been a Mistake

Managing director: Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?
Past retirement age CEO: What did Frank say about my hair?
Managing director: Nothing, I said “Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?”
Past retirement age CEO: What did he say about my hair?
Entire office: Frank hasn't said anything about your hair!
(phone rings)
Past retirement age CEO, answering phone: Hello, Frank speaking–I mean, Graham speaking.


Overheard by: Who's Frank?

Long Island secretary #1: She's old.
Long Island secretary #2: Some people just live too long.
Long Island secretary #1: She'll die soon.
Long Island secretary #2: She'll die when I kill her.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: stayingonmysideoftheoffice

Middle-aged woman #1: I didn’t get any vacation time this year because I was so busy with my mother.
Middle-aged woman #2: How is your mother doing? Does she have anyone to talk to? Like friends or anyone?
Middle-aged woman #1: Well, yes, but the problem is that all the 85-year-old men want is phone sex.
20-something girl: Well, there’s something to look forward to.

Midtown Building
New York City, New York

Customer: I don't know if I should get the two years subscription, I might not live that long.
Employee: How old are you?
Customer: 68.
Employee: Well, Tom*, that's a crapshoot.

Harrisburg, North Carolina

Girl: Did you ever eat SpaghettiO's when you were a kid?
Guy: No, my parents loved me.

Grocery Store
Vancouver, Washington

Diner: Well, you know, when she was young she just liked to sleep with dead animals under her pillow.

Denver, Colorado