Male coworker: The first time I shit in school was in eleventh grade. It was during Chemistry, after gym class. It was on that day I became a man. Since then I’ll shit anywhere, basically.
1372 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: ILmatic
Male coworker: The first time I shit in school was in eleventh grade. It was during Chemistry, after gym class. It was on that day I became a man. Since then I’ll shit anywhere, basically.
1372 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: ILmatic
Leasing rep: Well, the girl was 14 and her mother's 21! How is she going to learn anything with a mother like that? And the grandmother is only 32!
Randallstown, Maryland
Overheard by: tkap
Male coworker: Someone just called me “sir.”
Female coworker: What's wrong with that?
Male coworker: It's the same with “ma'am.” Once you are called “sir” you know you have lost all sexual appeal.
13th Street
Manhattan, New York
Supervisor #1: I smell mothballs.
Supervisor #2: Probably just my old body.
1143 West 116th Street
Carmel, Indiana
Overheard by: Samantha
Manager, about co-worker's brother: He really should've started with the mafia at a younger age.
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
IT guy #1: Asian. Asiaaaann.
IT guy #2: Like, 800 years old. A thousand. Thousands of years old.
IT guy #1: Asian. Asian. Asian.
43rd & Madison
New York City, New York
Overheard by: WTF?!
Managing director: Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?
Past retirement age CEO: What did Frank say about my hair?
Managing director: Nothing, I said “Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?”
Past retirement age CEO: What did he say about my hair?
Entire office: Frank hasn't said anything about your hair!
(phone rings)
Past retirement age CEO, answering phone: Hello, Frank speaking–I mean, Graham speaking.
London
England
Overheard by: Who's Frank?
Long Island secretary #1: She's old.
Long Island secretary #2: Some people just live too long.
Long Island secretary #1: She'll die soon.
Long Island secretary #2: She'll die when I kill her.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: stayingonmysideoftheoffice
Middle-aged woman #1: I didn’t get any vacation time this year because I was so busy with my mother.
Middle-aged woman #2: How is your mother doing? Does she have anyone to talk to? Like friends or anyone?
Middle-aged woman #1: Well, yes, but the problem is that all the 85-year-old men want is phone sex.
20-something girl: Well, there’s something to look forward to.
Midtown Building
New York City, New York
Customer: I don't know if I should get the two years subscription, I might not live that long.
Employee: How old are you?
Customer: 68.
Employee: Well, Tom*, that's a crapshoot.
Harrisburg, North Carolina
