Coworker #1: Hey, look — a list of famous people born on Friday the 13th.
Coworker #2: I wonder if I was born on Friday the 13th…
Coworker #1: When’s your birthday?
Coworker #2: August 5th.
Coworker #1: Then no…
Weehawken, New Jersey
Overheard by: Brian
Security worker: The girl they adopted was a grown woman, but she was a midget.
Fishers, Indiana
Overheard by: Answer the damn phone
25-year-old: All you listen to is old music, like David Bowie 'n shit.
40-year-old: I don't listen to just old stuff! I listen to new stuff too!
(turns radio to Eveerclear, Father of Mine)
40-year-old: See? This is new!
25-year-old: You kiddin? This is like ten years old!
40-year-old: Damnit.
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: back seat driver
Art director to photographer: So, how big is your rack?
(rest of table bursts out laughing)
Art director: Okay! I guess we're all 13 here!
Photographer: You gotta admit, that was good.
Art director: Yeah, it was good.
(at the end of photo shoot meeting)
Art director: Don't forget to bring your rack on Friday!
Van Nuys, California
Coworker #1: Okay, if you're 60 years old, why are you still smoking pot?
Coworker #2: There's no age limit on letting the good times roll.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Four-year-old kid to dad: Dad, how old will I be when I'm a Jedi knight?
Barnes & Noble
Manhasset, New York
Overheard by: Jen
Scruffy guy #1: So you actually wear little girl clothes?
Scruffy guy #2, nodding a lot: Yeah!
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Laura
Reservations manager: You look very small today!
GSR: Umm…thanks?
Charleston, South Carlolina
Judge: You've been charged with violation of section […] of the city code: having an open bottle of alcohol in public. How old are you?
Dirty, shirtless white man: Eighteen.
Judge: Does anyone else live in your household with you?
Dirty, shirtless white man: Yeah, my girlfriend and our two kids.
Judge: How old is your girlfriend?
Dirty, shirtless white man: Thirty-eight.
Judge: Thirty-eight? How long have you two been living together?
Dirty, shirtless white man: About seven years.
Judge: You're 18 and you and this woman have been living together for seven years??
Dirty, shirtless white man: Yeah.
Judge: Can you post $100 bail?
Dirty, shirtless white man: I have no money, judge.
Judge: Uh, well, then just come back on November 26, okay?
(man leaves)
Judge, to law clerk: He's got enough problems.
City Court
Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Loud guy from corner cubicle: You will just never believe this, I am the heaviest I have been in my entire life. That's what working here for ten years will do to you.
Quiet woman who shares cubicle: Well, at least you know you won't blow away.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: not that heavy
