White girl: Jesus, I just got called a nigger!
Filipino girl: What? On your break?
White girl: Yeah! And by a black person. Homeless. Wouldn’t give her money. I’m about as cracker as you get… total whitey. I mean, I’m wearing Banana Republic.
1900 Broadway
Oakland, California
Boss, walking into meeting: All I'm saying is that if those homie boys spoke more clearly they wouldn't have to finish every sentence with “know what I'm saying?”
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: dmac
Older gent doing crossword: What's a five letter word for “Stem with a bow?”
Secretary: That's “Stern with a bow”.
Older gent: So it's not “stem”? That doesn't make sense. I'm putting in “Oleo”.
State Office
Tampa, Florida
Overheard by: Sandy Paws
Restaurant customer waving to waitress: Check, check!
Waitress: No, ma'am, we don't take checks!
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: t bean
Doctor: Okay, so what are you having done today? Varicose veins?
Woman waiting for surgery: What? No. I'm having a port put in.
Nurse: A port? Well, you don't need a port for varicose veins.
Woman waiting for surgery: I know it's for my chemo.
Nurse: Oh, I get it now. I thought your form said “Cheerios.”
Australia
Associate: Thank you for calling the Houston gonorrhea. Can I help you?
Houston, Texas
Customer: You did a wonderful job on your Christmas tree!
Boss: Actually, my staff did all the work.
Staff #1: No, you set the tree up.
Boss: Yes, but you added some ornaments.
Staff #1: Only a few, but I fluffed up the branches so I guess I’m the office fluffer.
Cleveland, Ohio
Suit #1: We have to make sure they get laid in our system.
Suit #2 (concentrating): Right…
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: …and what exactly would that system be, now?
Boss: I have an open-door policy.
Worker: He doesn't have a door.
Boss: Right.
Homestead, Florida
CSA coming off phone call: I just customer serviced the arse off that last customer!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: curious supervisor
