Employee to boss: Number 1, this is number 3 calling.
New Brunswick
New Jersey
Employee to boss: Number 1, this is number 3 calling.
New Brunswick
New Jersey
Secretary: All morning I’ve been so happy, singing and dancing and now the whole day is ruined. Oh, I could commit carry harry right now!
Monson Way
Tunbridge Wells, Kent
UK
Overheard by: Benjaminov
On duty drone: Where’s your other thingamijig?
Off duty drone: My wife?
Gananoque
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Ronald Quailfeather
Peon, answering phone: Hello, XYZ* architects.
Caller: I'm from universal healthcare, is Mr. Smith* in?
Peon: No. I'm sorry, but he's retired.
Caller: Okay, but is he in?
Peon: No, he's retired.
Caller: Right, you said that, but is he in?
Peon: Do you not know what “retired” means?
Caller: I guess not.
Ybor City, Florida
Coworker, on cell: I'm sorry, she's passed away. (pause) She's passed away. (pause) She's dead.
Baltimore, Maryland
Coworker #1 (talking about the newly designed official computer desktop wallpapers): I don’t like the word “zero” in the wallpaper. It’s like such a negative number!
Coworker #2: It’s not negative if it’s used in a positive way.
Shubhada Building
Mumbai
India
Overheard by: M
Manager: So, we should totally take a consensuous on that with the entire team.
Employee: Consensus.
Manager: What?
Employee: Consensus.
Manager, laughing: I should totally carry around a thesaurius with me! [Employee walks away.]
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: BeeMonstre
Law Firm Guy: What’s a tsunami?
100 Maiden Lane
New York, NY
Coworker: Wait…John Ratzenberger?
430 Main Avenue
Norwalk, Connecticut
Maintenance guy: They shoulda had a Puerto Rican pope. Barbecue every weekend!
335 East 45th Street
New York, NY
Overheard by: Palaverist
Secretary on phone: I hate fake tans too…not cans…tans. No, tans. T as in taco, A as in anus, N as in next, and S as in swords. I hate fake cans, too.
3818 Maccorkle Avenue SE
Charleston, West Virginia
Overheard by: brittany
