New guy: What is everyone having to drink?
Older employee, trying to sound sophisticated: I think I'm going to go with a red wine. I heard the Merlot was good. I consider myself somewhat of a connoissaurus.
Office Retreat
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: I didn't hire her.
Managing Director: Hey, there’s something wrong in my sister’s account. Her street name is spelled wrong.
Assistant: Is she a rapper?
1999 Avenue of the Stars
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: oink
Designer #1: So what do you want the parameter name to be?
Designer #2: Let's call it “xmlFileUrl”, with the “f” and the “u” capitalized.
Baltimore, Maryland
VP: Has anyone seen my teabags?
Receptionist: Where did you last put them?
VP: On the kitchen counter.
Receptionist: You put your teabags on the counter? Did anyone see you?
VP: No, no one else was there.
Receptionist: Are they jumbo-sized teabags?
VP: No, they're regular size, and I've looked everywhere!
Vienna, Virginia
Overheard by: Office drone
Female peon: Did you cock-block me last night?
Supervisor: No, I don’t think so.
Male peon #1: Wait — is there a female equivalent to the cock-block?
Male peon #2, after long pause: Vag glue?
East 57th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Chris J.
Puzzled drone: is Chuck E. Cheese BYOB?
Whitehouse Station, New Jersey
Overheard by: Justin
Male nurse #1: I just thought of something. Wouldn’t it be so embarassing being a gynecologist? What’s your motivation? Man, that would just be so embarrassing.
Male nurse #2: Yeah, especially with your name, Dr. Beaver.
Geisinger Medical Center
Danville, Pennsylvania
Co-worker #1: Do you know any strippers?
Co-worker #2: Um…
Co-worker #1: No, I mean people who can strip paint.
640 Broadway
New York, NY
Co-worker #1: Did you just say you asked the location to give the
customer a little ass?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, ass…ya know, assistance.
Co-worker #1: Um…once again…ass is not the abbreviation for
assistance.
Boss: What’s going on?
5330 E. 31st Street
Tulsa, Oklahoma
