They Keep A Few Wheelchair Seats on Hold in Case Any Celebrity Cripples Show Up

Customer: You mean you don’t have any wheelchair seats left for that matinee?
Assistant manager: No ma’am. We have a lot of senior citizen groups that come to matinees and they tend to fill up our wheelchair seats.
Customer: Well, I would say put me and my husband in two regular seats, but he doesn’t have any legs!
Husband: It’s true, I don’t have any legs!
Assistant manager: Ummm, ok. Let me see what I can do for you.

Shenandoah University Theatre ticket office
Winchester, Virginia

Overheard by: Jennifer Ellerbe

Posted on October 19, 2017
Age and ageing, Arts, Bosses, Crazies, Customers, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Offers and requests, Time Management, Virginia

Maybe He Has a Lead on Carmen Sandiego

Admin, screaming into phone: What do you want me to do? I can't do this now, I'm at work! (pause) Well, I can't deal with this now, I'm working! I don't know what to tell you! (pause) I don't have any damn money!! I spent all my money on that private investigator! (pause) I can't do this now, I'm at work!
Boss: Sarah, in my office now.
Admin: I have to go, my boss needs me.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Jeremy Hawn

Posted on October 15, 2017
Admins, Bosses, Money, New York, On the phone, Questions, Time Management, Weirdness

2PM Diversity Initiative

Secretary: Hey, I haven’t seen you for a while. You been on vacation?
Associate: No, I’ve been here.
Secretary: I just love running into you. You look just like that guy from Whose Line Is It Anyway. That black guy…What’s his name?
Associate: Oh, really? No one’s ever told me that before.
Secretary: It’s ok, right? Because he’s my favorite.

1425 K Street NW
Washington DC

Overheard by: callmeahab

Posted on October 8, 2017
Bosses and Underlings, General Idiocy, Race, Receptionists, Time Management, Washington DC

Basil Finally Recovers from New Year’s Eve

Man smoking outside office door: What year is this anyway? It’s 2006, isn’t it?

Goswell Road
London
England

Overheard by: Ava

Posted on September 30, 2017
Default, England, Health & Hygiene, Patients, Questions, Time Management

1PM Lunch Break

Co-worker #1: I heard that the wood plant is going to take a floating holiday and shut down for opening day of hunting season.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, kind of like IT’s unofficial holiday for opening day of Star Wars.

901 44th Street SE
Grand Rapids, Michigan

Posted on September 20, 2017
Arts, Coworkers, Gossip, Holidays, Michigan, Time Management

Especially If He’s the Simon Who Helped Jesus Carry His Cross

Wishful thinking peon on phone: Yes, I can meet with this Simon guy. It’s not that Simon from American Idol, is it? Oh? That’s too bad… I guess I’ll still meet with him, though.

111 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Hear No Evil

Posted on August 14, 2017
Coworkers, Default, Illinois, On the phone, Questions, Time Management

Yoda: Don't Try– Do!

Woman #1, waiting for elevator: We should really take the stairs.
Woman #2: Yeah. I've been trying to take the stairs more.
(they proceed to wait another three minutes, until elevator finally comes)

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on June 30, 2017
Advice, Canadia, Coworkers, Lies, Time Management

You Thought the SATs Were Over in High School?

Therapist #1: The client missed 80% of his appointments over the past two months.
Therapist #2: He was supposed to have 80% of his sessions in two months!?

Washoe Valley, Nevada