Receptionists

Hold on a Sec–Can You Order Me a Pizza?

Radiologist receptionist to dermatology patient with the wrong number: I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number. Dr. Green's office is just down the hall; the extension is 1234. You're welcome. Buh-bye.
(pause, then answers again)
Receptionist: No, you've got the wrong extension again. Dr. Green is at 1234. It's no problem. You're welcome. Buh-bye.
(pause, then answers again)
Receptionist: Good morning. (pause) Of course, hold on just one moment, please. (dials extension #1234) Hi, I'm calling to confirm Mrs Brown's appointment to have her hairy mole removed. 11:30 am? Thank you so much. (on the other line) The doctor will see you at 11:30 tomorrow morning. Yes ma'am, buh-bye now.

Norwalk, Connecticut

Overheard by: EmLo

And Don't Be Trying to Put Rat Poison in It This Time

Elderly boss to receptionist: Where's my coffee?
Receptionist: Are your legs broken?
Elderly boss: My third one is! Now get my coffee!

Southfield, Michigan

Um, That Was a Typewriter.

Business owner: Thanks for e-mailing me that report so I could work on it at home… But I don't think I'll be doing that any more.
Receptionist: Why not?
Business owner: Well, my computer here is set so that when you go back and make changes, it just moves things along. My computer at home just erases what is already there and replaces it. So, every time I found a typo or made a change, I had to re-type the whole rest of the report.
Receptionist: You… You are kidding?
Business owner: Yeah, I bet I typed that thing eight times after I found all the typos and stuff.

Indianapolis, Indiana

5PM Enjoy the Weekend, Everyone

Boss: Have a great Christmas, everyone. I’m going to go see my new grandkid.
Secretary: Aw. You have a new grandchild? Is this the first time
you’ll see it?
Boss: Yeah, they’re delivering by C-section on Wednesday.

2320 West Highway 76
Branson, Missouri

NewsFlash: Writer Neurotic and Delusional. Film at 11.

Receptionist, as editor walks in: How did [aspiring author] sound on the phone?
Editor: I dunno, what do you mean?
Receptionist: Well, I sent him information about how to publish his book, and he told me that his family was trying to kill him.

Lawrence, Massachusetts

With His Cordless Drill, Perverts

Receptionist: It was just Janice and I, and my dad had to do all the screwing.

Atlanta, Georgia

1PM Lunch

Secretary: Well, we’re going to Jersey for that meeting, so we could go to the Village Gourmet.
Engineer: Yeah, that was good the last time.
Surveyor: Doesn’t the guy that owns that one own another one too, right down the street from the Village Gourmet?
Secretary: Yeah, but it’s really expensive, everything’s a la carte.
Engineer: What does a la carte mean anyway?
Secretary: Dude, you’re 26 years old and you don’t know what a la fucking carte means?
Surveyor: Aren’t you French Canadian, too?

One Penn Plaza
New York, NY

Overheard by: Melissa Miller

Do You Know Something I Don't?

Associate: It's my birthday today!
Receptionist: Oh, it's my little sister's birthday too, she's turning one.
Associate: Oh, that's cute. Is she your mum's first child?

Sydney
Australia

Kids Get Sucked Into Those Like Quicksand

Producer to receptionist: Hey, do you have that intern's cell number? I'm trying to see if she can come in at 8 on Monday.
Receptionist: Yeah, I just called her. She's in the middle of, like, a Jonas Brothers concert or something.

Manhattan, New York

5PM That’s a Wrap

File Clerk: Are there many good benifits for joining Mensa? It looks like I have the option, but wonder if it is worth the effort.
Attorney: I believe one of the admission requirements is being able to figure out if it’s worth it.

1445 Ross Avenue
Dallas, Texas

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