Assistant #1: I want to stab my eyes out. Is that normal?
Assistant #2: Yes.
Assistant #1: Just wanted to make sure.
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Assistant #1: I want to stab my eyes out. Is that normal?
Assistant #2: Yes.
Assistant #1: Just wanted to make sure.
640 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Secretary #1: That was a funny email you sent earlier; I couldn’t
stop cracking up.
Secretary #2: Hey, I just try to make you all laugh.
Intern: For you to make them laugh all they have to do is look at
your face.
28 State Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Speakerphone: So, we’re filling out nametags for next week’s meeting. What’s Randy’s title?
Receptionist: Well, he’s The Boss.
Speakerphone: Okay, but what’s his title?
Receptionist: “The Boss”. He’s The Boss.
Speakerphone: All right, he’s your boss, but what’s his title?
Receptionist: He’s “The Boss”!
Speakerphone: Oh, well then…um, okay that’s great. Thanks for your help.
35555 Garfield Road
Clinton Township, Michigan
Overheard by: Stephanie Saffold
Clerk #1: My nephew is getting married, and his mother is not happy.
Clerk #2: Why’s that?
Clerk #1: Well she is Mexican, Italian or maybe from India. I don’t know. They just don’t like her. He’s really intelligent, but they’re worried about him quitting college now.
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: unbelievable
Person: Hi, I’m here for my 1 o’clock meeting. I know I’m a little early…
Receptionist: I’m sorry, what?
Person: I’m here for my meeting at 1; I’m early. Sorry about that.
Receptionist: Um…Yeah, it’s almost 3…So…
Person: Oh sorry, right, 3, must be in a different time zone.
9250 Beverly Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Secretary: My pencil drawer is broken. It needs a new twisty nail.
Boss: Twisty nail?
Secretary: Yeah, you know, with the X-groove on top.
Boss: You mean a Phillips-head screw?
Secretary: Whatever.
118 East Whittier
St. Francis, Kansas
EA: …she’s still learning to change a diaper and all that.
Suit: Really?
EA: Yeah, but it’s been extra hard emotionally because our family is really strict and my dad still can’t admit to himself that this happened. All he’s said is, “I sent you to private school! Don’t they have sex ed there?” and “How could this happen?” Which doesn’t help her at all.
Suit: No, probably not.
EA: It’s like, “Dad, the baby is already here, get a grip.” But, well, she’s the baby of the family and I guess we all know how fathers are.
Suit: No, actually, I don’t. I never met mine.
40 IDX Drive
South Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: Bubble Wrap THIS
Receptionist, yelling: I want to show everyone my box!
Melbourne
Australia
Accountant: This chicken [Sue] brought in is yummy. I’m just going to take a break to eat it here rather than take it back to my desk. I don’t trust myself not to get my paperwork all greasy.
Supervisor: That’s why I’m going to make a sandwich out of it.
Secretary: Oh, I don’t care about greasy fingers. All I do is handle incoming checks all day.
401 Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee
Account rep: Is this other elevator still broken?
Receptionist: Correct.
Account rep: But, but, isn’t that, like, a fire hazard?
Receptionist: Um, see those signs that say ‘In case of fire, do not use elevators’?
Account rep: Oh. Right.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: glad she’s not a firefighter
