And Bob's Plaintive Yips Will Break Your Heart

Clerk #1: Bob and Mark left on a service call.
Manager: Did you tell Mark to dump Bob off on the side of the road, like a puppy no one wants, instead of bringing him back?
Clerk #2: Hey! We're not that mean here. We like puppies.

Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on July 29, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Indiana, Questions, Weirdness

Let Me Know How That Works Out for You

Boss to vendor on phone: So, if we take a dump, how long before you can analyze it?

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: DB

Posted on July 29, 2015
Bosses, Colorado, Health & Hygiene, On the phone, Questions, Restroom, Sales, Weirdness

Which Answer Will Get Me Change?

Cube girl #1: Do you have change for a ten?
Cube girl #2: Do I look like a stripper?

Stratford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Deek

Posted on July 29, 2015
Connecticut, Coworkers, Questions

1PM Full Department Meeting

Head of department: Can someone give an example of a person in the department going above and beyond the call of duty?
Woman: [Jane]. She does so much, not just for our group, but for other groups as well. I don’t think there’s anyone in the department [Jane] hasn’t serviced.

1200 12th Avenue South
Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 29, 2015
Bosses and Underlings, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions, Washington

The Unbearable Lightness Of Ben

White guy #1: I got fired because I am a white male!
White guy #2: I might be going out on a limb here, but could the fact that you got drunk and threw a Japanese lantern into the front door of the hotel have anything to do with it?
White guy #1: No…it's because I am white!

Irving, Texas

Posted on July 29, 2015
Drinking, Friends, General Idiocy, Hiring & Firing, Questions, Race, Texas, Violence

That's What You Said About Boyfriends

Young receptionist: I keep finding cat scratches all over me!
Female accounts: Do you even have a cat?
Young receptionist: Yeah, I had to wash him.
Female accounts: Why in the hell would you wash a cat, they're self-cleaning!

Croydon Road
Australia

Posted on July 28, 2015
Animals, Australia, Financial Folk, General Idiocy, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Receptionists

One Sign That You Should Be Seeing a Different Doctor

Doctor: So, you aren't eating or drinking water during the day for a whole month?
Muslim med student: Yep, but it's not so bad, it gives us time to reflect and pray.
Doctor: Wow, well, thanks for telling me about Ramadan. Now let's figure out our schedule for the day. Have you eaten lunch yet?

Medical Center
Richmond, Virginia