So It Won't Matter If We Get Drunk and Trash the Place

Supervisor #1: Hey, want to go to a party? John Phillips* invited me to some KU thing.
Supervisor #2: Who's John Phillips?
Supervisor #1: He's an asshole.

Overland Park, Kansas

Posted on July 6, 2015
Bosses, Insults, Kansas, Offers and requests, Questions, Wishes

Beaver Not, Lest Ye Be Beavertoned

Marketing to IT worker: Would you stop looking in my trash and judging me?

Beaverton, Oregon

Posted on July 3, 2015
Coworkers, Cubicles, Default, Feelings, Offers and requests, Office Politics, Oregon

I Assumed You Needed Drugs

Elderly woman: Help me! Help me!
More elderly woman: What do you need?
Elderly woman: I need help!
More elderly woman: Then I can’t help you.

Pueblo, Colorado

Overheard by: WorkingForTheElderly

Posted on July 3, 2015
Colorado, Customers, Default, Employees, Offers and requests, Questions, Weirdness

Though If You Were Just Taller, at Least Your Face Would Be Further Away

Receptionist: Oh, excuse me!
Accountant: It's alright.
Receptionist: Hahaha… do you want to dance?
Accountant: Maybe if you were taller… and better looking.

112th Street
Seattle, Washington

Posted on July 1, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Financial Folk, Insults, Offers and requests, Physical Appearance, Receptionists, Washington

“Poor Lewis,” I'll Say, 'Didn't Even Know His Own Name.”

Supervisor: I'll just call you Phil.
Temp called Tom*: Please don't.
Supervisor: Fine, how about I call you Lewis?

Maylands Avenue
Hertfordshire
England

Posted on July 1, 2015
Coworkers, England, Insults, Interns & Temps, Names, Offers and requests, Questions

2PM Update Files

Admin: One of our districts is having trouble modifying a document from our website.
Graphic Designer: It can’t be modified. It’s a PDF.
Admin: Right. So I was wondering if you would turn off the PDF so they can make their changes.
Graphic Designer: …Um, no.

2100 I-70 Drive SW
Columbia, Missouri

Posted on June 30, 2015
Admins, Designers and Photographers, General Idiocy, Missouri, Offers and requests, Technology

I Only Drive Drunk in Moderation

Suit: It was 6 hours of nonstop powerdrinking. My wife was at a Christmas party and asked me to pick her up, and I said, “Even I would not get behind the wheel now!”

350 Madison Ave.
New York, NY

Posted on June 30, 2015
Comebacks, New York, Offers and requests, Substance Use & Abuse, Suits, Time Management

Sometimes It's Best to Say, “What the Fuck Are You Doing?”

Receptionist, as boss “innocently” puts hand down his pants to re-adjust: Are you out all next week? I have something for you…but I left it at home.

The Loop
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on June 30, 2015
Bosses, Clothes, Illinois, Offers and requests, Possible Sexual Harassment, Receptionists, Sexuality

The Boss Said I Should Spiff Up for Our Afternoon Meeting

Drafting dork: Hey, do you have any binder clips?
Female coworker: Why?
Drafting dork: I want to clip them to my nipples.

Boca Raton, Florida

Overheard by: I'mNotHazel

Posted on June 26, 2015
Body Parts, Coworkers, Dorks, Geeks, & Nerds, Florida, Offers and requests, Weirdness

Oh Like You've Never Had the Urge to Spread Your Seed?

Employee #1 to #2: Hey, haven't seen you on FarmVille in a while.
Employee #2: Yeah, I've been busy.
Employee #3, walking into office: What are you talking about?
Employee #1: Oh, nothing, just telling Mark* that he needs to get off his ass and come plow my crops.
Employee #3, walking out of office: Wow… Just wow.

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: FBook has changed the world as we know it…

Posted on June 20, 2015
Body Parts, Colorado, Employees, Offers and requests, Questions, Sexuality, Weirdness

Offers and requests