Customer: Could you bring some crackers for him? (points to toddler)
Waiter: Sure, do you want me to crumble them up and throw them on the floor for him too?
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Customer: Could you bring some crackers for him? (points to toddler)
Waiter: Sure, do you want me to crumble them up and throw them on the floor for him too?
Murfreesboro, Tennessee
Sales girl: Oh my god… David* is back there cleaning his office and the smell is making my head hurt.
Office manager: What’s he cleaning it with?
Sales girl: The same Fantastic crap under the sink that we all use. I’ve used it on my own desk and never been so overwhelmed by the fumes. Don’t go back there.
Office manager: Why is he cleaning it himself anyway?
Sales girl: I don’t know. (pause) He must be bathing in it. Seriously, I had to get up and walk away.
Office manager: Just close his door.
Sales girl, appalled: I can’t do that! The fumes would kill him! It would be fatal!
Office manager, grabbing her arm: Close the door. Close. The. Door.
England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Exec: I'm having problems receiving e-mail.
IT guy: It's the IMAP you are using. It's not compatible with the settings that you have in your program.
Exec: This is unacceptable. I want you to call IMAP and get this resolved immediately!
IT guy: I can't.
Exec: Why can't you do this?
IT guy: Because IMAP is out to lunch with HTTP.
Los Angeles, California
Customer: I would like a cheeseburger combo, no cheese.
Cashier, looking confused, to coworker: Hey, bro… What's a cheeseburger with no cheese?
Coworker: Are you serious, man?
Irvine, California
Overheard by: Jennifer
Manager: Everybody hide and don’t make any noise.
Employee: Um, we’re in a cube. Exactly where do you want us to go?
Manager: Under the tables and behind the privacy screens. Now everyone shut up.
Employee: Considering John sits right next to this cube and these dividers aren’t soundproof, this smoke and mirrors trick really is a failure.
7 Times Square
New York, NY
Exasperated boss, on phone with son: Oh, let's just leave Jesus out of this, okay?
Huntington, New York
Overheard by: Lady Lawyer
Eager coworker: I took a candy bar from you yesterday, but I didn’t have a dollar. And I want to take one again today.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Mother to son: Don’t play with that stapler!
Passerby: Happy take your kid to work day.
One Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Office guy: So I told her I would give her $15,000 and a ladder to elope. And that she could keep the ladder when she got back.
Stratford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Zaphod B.
Supervisor #1: Hey, want to go to a party? John Phillips* invited me to some KU thing.
Supervisor #2: Who's John Phillips?
Supervisor #1: He's an asshole.
Overland Park, Kansas
