Employee: Can I help you find something?
Customer: No, you don’t have it.
Employee: Then why are you still here?
Northgate Mall
Seattle, Washington
Employee: Can I help you find something?
Customer: No, you don’t have it.
Employee: Then why are you still here?
Northgate Mall
Seattle, Washington
Office manager: Could you save this file somewhere in the system, please?
Receptionist: Where?
Office manager: Well, save it somewhere so that I could find it easily.
Receptionist, when manager leaves: Sure, bitch, I will do it, but don’t ask me if you can’t find it.
Office manager, returning: Excuse me?
Receptionist: Uh… I just said that I will save it in your directory, ma’am.
1250 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: jullylully
Home health nurse: Good morning, Mr Smith*. May I take your blood pressure?
Alzheimer's patient: Well, I don't know! What'll you give me for it?
Buena Park, California
Overheard by: his pastor
Teacher running in, glancing around wildly: Anyone got a lighter?
Preschool
Denver, Colorado
Visiting executive: So I want to talk about branch 512. What letter does the branch code end with?
Regional manager: Y.
Visiting executive: Y?
Regional manager: Yes, Y. As in “yak.”
Visiting executive: Oh, I see.
Regional manager: Stacey, can you give us an update on branch 512Y?
Stacey: You had me at “yak.”
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Stacey Quit 3 Weeks Later
Boss: No, you can't hump Bill's leg.
Underling: Dammit!
Mound Court
Merrimack, New Hampshire
Employee: This memo was sent back saying that your signature wasn't acceptable, someone higher up has to sign it.
Boss: Oh yeah, there is a memo for that. The big boss signed a memo stating that I can sign the memos that he is supposed to sign.
Employee: I'm sorry, I must not have heard about that. Where can I get a copy?
Boss: It's saved in the financial directory folder. By the way, so everyone is on the same page, do you think you could send out a memo about that?
Large University
Michigan
Co-worker on phone: I have a trailer to be picked up…Yes, it is ready now. It’s in a parking lot. You know, where cars park.
33 Shaws Lane
Springfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Disgruntled Cube Tenant
Front desk person in overhead announcement at a busy medical clinic: I need a hearse–no, I'm sorry, I need a nurse from hall three to call the front desk please. A nurse from hall three to call the front desk. Thank you.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: seftiri
Administrative assistant on phone: I was just calling because I have seventy five Nigerians in need of a campus tour, and I know you're good at that sort of thing.
University of Notre Dame, Indiana
