Senior-looking employee to another: So there's the men's room. Do you want coffee or tea?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: carmine
Senior-looking employee to another: So there's the men's room. Do you want coffee or tea?
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: carmine
Coworker #1: Anyone want to go out to lunch with me? I'm so hungry.
Coworker #2: I can't, I brought Indian for lunch today.
Coworker #1: Man, I am so hungry I would eat an Indian right now.
Coworker #2: Do you think they taste like curry?
Coworker #1: What?
Coworker #2: Curry. You know, because they eat so much of it. Wouldn't it be ironic if they tasted like cow? Ganesh would not like that.
Coworker #1: I'm going to go get pizza.
Seattle, Washington
Man, referring to golf pencils provided: Can I borrow something to write with? I can't use those small pencils. I'm a VIP!
Virginia Beach, Virginia
CEO, to no one in particular: So we're talking to this fucking prick up in Alaska, and I keep hearing this whistling. So I say “hey man, what the fuck is that noise? Turns out it's his fucking parrot, so I tell him to kill the fucker. Who has parrots?
Portland, Oregon
Boss: Oh good morning, would you like some coffee?
Building Manager: Oh, I don’t think so.
Boss: Oh, have some.
Building Manager: No, thanks. It’ll just make me perspire. I had a cup and a half before I left for work this morning and my makeup slid right off my face.
3040 M Street NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Chris
Man to friend: Whatever happened to good old-fashion cock? (turns to customer) Can I help you?
Wayme New Jersy
Overheard by: anthony
Boss: Don't forget to include an STD with that mailing.
Temp: STD?
Boss: “Save The Date” card.
Temp: Oh! I thought you meant “Sexually Transmitted Disease.”
Boss: What kind of magazines do you read, anyway?
Providence, Rhode Island
Drone on phone: Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll call you back in an hour.
4867 West Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Over the loudspeaker: Tiny Steve*, please call 3-8-1*. Tiny Steve… Where is Tiny Steve?
Tampa, Florida
Tech #1 to admin, while fixing cabling issue: You want me to pull it out now?
Tech #2, walking by: Uhhh…
Monroe, North Carolina
Overheard by: Wary Technician
