Software programmer, rapping while coding: Encrypt that shit! Encrypt that shit! Keep those bitches out of our shit!
Peachtree Road
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Chris
Software programmer, rapping while coding: Encrypt that shit! Encrypt that shit! Keep those bitches out of our shit!
Peachtree Road
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Chris
Man: Is Murphy* a man? Or a woman?
Woman: Does it matter?
Man: Um yeah. I was going to ask Terry out, and the shape of his? Her? Genitals rather matters to me.
Woman: Bigot.
Church in Victoria
British Columbia
Canadia
Co-worker #1: You’re wearing socks with sandals.
Co-worker #2: So?
Co-worker #1: You’re lucky I’m even talking to you.
Decatur Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Male peon: I hope you locked the door. If you didn’t, some hobo is gonna use my car as his bathroom.
Lady peon: You’re a hobo’s bathroom!
1255 Hempstead Turnpike
Uniondale, New York
Overheard by: glad i keep my doors locked
Receptionist to another: I said, ‘I don’t care that you care that I think you’re an asshole,’ but maybe I do.
Capitol Highway
Portland, Oregon
Employee: Uhhh, I got a job offer from another company… And I want to quit…
Boss: What?! How much did they offer you?!
Employee: Ummm, two times more than I get here.
Boss: Did you tell them that you’re a slacker?
Employee: Nope, but I told ’em that you appreciate my work so much that you wanted to raise my salary two times.
Boss: Bullshit! Give me their phone number and I’ll tell them the truth about you! And also, you’re fired!
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: jullylully
Homeboy customer: Yo, gots any mothafuckin’ shelves?
Employee: Did he just say what I thought he said? [Coworker nods.]Homeboy customer: Yo, man! I said, I need some mothafuckin’ shelves fo’ my mothafuckin’ clothes!
Employee, pointing: Yeah, right down that mothafuckin’ aisle.
Home repair store
Whitehall, Pennsylvania
CSR #1: I just want to know what is expected of us!
CSR #2, walking away: What is expected of us is that you suck, and I don’t, so there!
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Web developer: That doesn’t count.
Web designer: Neither can your mum.
Web developer: Yeah — I guess it really hampered her 25-year career as a bookkeeper.
Web designer: What sort of books did she keep?
104-108 Dover Street
Richmond Victoria
Australia
Employee #1: Who’s that new blonde girl that works here?
Employee #2: Which new blonde girl? That doesn’t narrow it down.
Employee #1: You know, the… the slow one. She sounds kind of retarded when she talks.
Employee #2: Kelly*? She’s not retarded, you jerk — she’s from Sweden. English isn’t her first language.
Boston Post Road
Sudbury, Massachusetts
Overheard by: slurific
