Coworker in lunchroom: I don’t know whether that’s insulting to gay men or female women.
Des Moines, Iowa
Coworker in lunchroom: I don’t know whether that’s insulting to gay men or female women.
Des Moines, Iowa
IT guy: Pretty much everyone who works here is either a computer geek or a pedophile.
HR lady walking by: Hey, I’m not a computer geek.
Richmond Hill
Ontario
Canadia
Tech #1: Have you read the email from the project managers?
Tech #2: Yes, I have. Would you like to create the reply?
Tech #1: Are you asking me to flush out the stupid?
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina
Stylist: How do you want your hair?
Customer: Short on the sides and blended with no weight line. I don’t want to look like a circumcised penis.
Great Clips
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: Yeah – one is enough
Angry manager: … And you are in no way the Leah* you should be! Do I make myself clear?!
Tearful employee: … Yes.
Angry manager: Are you always like this?
Tearful employee: No, I usually respond well to criticism, it’s just–
Angry manager: –It’s not criticism, it’s feedback!
Pride Park, Derby
United Kingdom
Overheard by: Glad I work in another department
Angry customer: [Inaudible over phone.]Employee: I apologize, sir. I understand your frusteration.
Angry customer: Why do you keep calling me ‘sir’?
Employee: Oh! Ma’am. I apologize.
Scottsdale, Arizona
Mailroom worker: I can’t take him to the Christmas party — he oh beast!
Receptionist: He’s a beast? You mean he’s ugly?
Mailroom worker: No, he’s fat. Like really fat. He’s oh beast.
Floor 7, 9460 Wilshire Boulevard
Beverly Hills, California
Blonde: So, have you taken any Lamaze or yoga classes to help with the birth?
Preggers: No, the thought of having to be around all those pregnant women made me sick.
Oakland, California
Little girl holding Bad Santa: Nana, can I get this Santa movie?
Grandmother: No, you can’t.
Little girl: But my mommy and daddy watched it.
Grandmother: That’s because your parents are bad people.
Wal-Mart
Raynham, Massachusetts
Yuppie girl: I found a turtle over the weekend. I put it in my backyard.
Flakey girl: What did you call it?
Yuppie girl: Myrtle.
Flakey girl: Is it fertile?
Yuppie girl: Is it what?
Flakey girl: Is it fer-tile? I was rhyming…
Yuppie girl: No, it’s a turtle.
Flakey girl: Myrtle, the fertile turtle.
Yuppie girl: You’re like Phoebe of Friends.
Flakey girl: You’re like Ross.
St. Kilda Road
Melbourne
Australia
