IT guy to IT manager: Nice shoes, are they new?
IT manager: Yeah, but they’re too clean and white. They need to be scuffed up more.
IT guy: You know what they should do? They should make the seven-year old Taiwanese kids who sew these wear them for a few days first.
IT manager: Yeah, that’s perfect. Pre-scuffed shoes. They’d be flopping around in shoes way too big, but at least they’d have shoes for a few days.
Good Hope Road
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Cube mate on phone: Hey! What’s up butt-lord?
[silence] No kidding! You’re such an American asshole. Later!
3rd Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: radioman
Engineer: Did you see that e-mail bob sent?
Technician: Yes, he’s creating an army of idiots in his own image!
Wayne, Pennsylvania
Co-worker made to apologize to client: I’m sorry I didn’t have you on hold when I called you an asshole.
Marietta, Georgia
Female coworker #1: There he is in his fancy car.
Female coworker #2: Yeah, he’s totally making up for something.
Female coworker #1: See, I drive a family car, so I’m not concerned about the size of my clitoris.
Scarborough
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: C.note
Woman worker: He said to me: “Has anyone ever told you you look like Ricky Schroeder?” I told him he was so rude, you don’t tell a girl she looks like a man. But you know what, I kinda see where he’s coming from.
Lake Oswego, Oregon
Receptionist on phone: Some people say they have OCD. They don’t have OCD. They’re nuts!
Office
Lyndhurst, New Jersey
VP: The guy’s stupider than he looks.
Peon: What does he look like?
VP: I don’t know, I’ve never seen him.
Beachwood, Ohio
Female staff: Oh man, I’m so into “America’s Next Top Model.” You know that show.
Male staff: Oh yes. Good quality programming.
Female staff: They were having this marathon on VH1 this weekend, like the whole last season all at once. I got so hooked. But I missed the last two or three episodes, so I don’t know who won it.
Male staff: That’s awful. You really don’t know? That was last season.
Female staff: No, I didn’t see the last few episodes.
Male staff: You mean to tell me that you don’t know who won last season’s “America’s Next Top Model”?
Female staff: I didn’t see the last episode?
Male staff: But you don’t recognize her from all of the glamorous advertisements and runway shows she’s been doing?
Female staff: Well, no, I… Oh. You’re being sarcastic.
Male staff: For minutes now.
10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Worker bee #1: Hey, did you notice Claire* doesn’t wear that green suit thing anymore?
Worker bee #2: No, I think she realized people were calling her Shrek.
Worker bee #1: [after a pause.] yeah… Yeah I can see that actually.
Civic Drive
Greensborough
Australia
Overheard by: it’s so true
