Secretary to irate victim on the phone: Well, ma'am, perhaps it would help if you could remember the name of the prosecutor who handled your case…
Irate victim: Well… I don't remember his name, but I can tell you he was the meanest son of a bitch in that office!
Secretary, sighing: Ma'am, I'm afraid you're going to have to be much more specific than that.
Virginia
Overheard by: Nice Little Lemur Girl
Coworker: King Tut's tomb didn't make you sick, moron, it was eating all the testicles!
Dayton, Ohio
Clued-out senior manager on phone with lawyer: I just want a translation of the document. It's written all in French. I'm from Ontario, we don't speak the language here. (pause) Well, I just want the gist of the document. I think he's suing us for defamation of character. (pause) The guy's a jerk.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Cue
Deskie #1: What’s that smell? Sulfur? Rotten eggs?
Deskie #2: I have it figured out: It’s Halloween, and all these girls are walking around with nothing covering areas which haven’t been exposed in public since last Halloween.
Deskie #1: I don’t get why that is relevant.
Front desk, Central Michigan University
Mount Pleasant, Michigan
Overheard by: Not A Deskie
Boss to web developer: Didn't we do that site for… For… Ugh… You know… Dick bag motherfucker…
Web developer: Um… No… I don't remember doing anything for Dick Bag motherfucker.
Red Bank, New Jersey
Library patron: It's not fucking inappropriate, it's fucking basketball!
Plymouth, New Hampshire
Office jokester: If one person calls you a jackass, that's their opinion. If ten people call you a jackass, get a saddle.
Office dullard: What's a saddle?
Cooper City, Florida
Overheard by: Knows what a saddle is
Manager to clumsy coworker: You’re about as graceful as a seven-legged octopus with a muscle spasm!
Fast food joint
Fayetteville, Arkansas
Overheard by: Dubird
HR Guru: The only person you can change is yourself–
Infidel: I keep trying that, but she’s still being a bitch!
2025 E St, NW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bendystraw
IT guy: Hey, can I convince one of you to go get me and my friends a coffee?
Production manager: What friends? All I see is you.
IT guy: My friends. Y’know, the people I hang with.
Production manager: No one hangs with you.
Production assistant: Yeah, you smell bad.
Oakleaf Avenue
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Ren
