Employee #1 to employee #2: Hey, what's that called when they take your money out and you have no control?
Employee #2: Fucked?
Employee #3: Garnish, you assholes!
Wyandotte, Michigan
Overheard by: Tom
Employee #1 to employee #2: Hey, what's that called when they take your money out and you have no control?
Employee #2: Fucked?
Employee #3: Garnish, you assholes!
Wyandotte, Michigan
Overheard by: Tom
Employee: Can I help you?
Customer: Hi. Yes, may I have a turkey artichoke panini?
Employee: No.
Customer: No?
Employee: No. We don’t have those.
Customer: But it’s right there on your board. Do you mean you ran out of them today?
Employee: Yeah, that’s what I said. Order the other turkey sandwich, it’s exactly the same.
Customer: Actually I think I’ll just have a salad.
Employee: I’ll be right back. [Goes in back room.]Employee: Did you hear what I just said back there?
Customer: Ummm… No.
Employee: Good. I mean, cause it wasn’t about you.
Customer: Ok…
Panera Bread Co.
Tysons Corner, Virginia
CSR on phone: Please sir, stop yelling at me. (pause) You do not need to swear at me. (pause) You call me that one more time and I'm going to hang up. (pause) Yeah, I'm still here. (pause, then hangs up) The best part was he told me to die.
Phildelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: headsethottie
Worker bee #1 walking up to group of coworkers: Hey, here’s two of the people I’m looking for.
Worker bee #2: Scatter!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Secretary to irate victim on the phone: Well, ma'am, perhaps it would help if you could remember the name of the prosecutor who handled your case…
Irate victim: Well… I don't remember his name, but I can tell you he was the meanest son of a bitch in that office!
Secretary, sighing: Ma'am, I'm afraid you're going to have to be much more specific than that.
Virginia
Overheard by: Nice Little Lemur Girl
Coworker: King Tut's tomb didn't make you sick, moron, it was eating all the testicles!
Dayton, Ohio
Clued-out senior manager on phone with lawyer: I just want a translation of the document. It's written all in French. I'm from Ontario, we don't speak the language here. (pause) Well, I just want the gist of the document. I think he's suing us for defamation of character. (pause) The guy's a jerk.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Cue
Deskie #1: What’s that smell? Sulfur? Rotten eggs?
Deskie #2: I have it figured out: It’s Halloween, and all these girls are walking around with nothing covering areas which haven’t been exposed in public since last Halloween.
Deskie #1: I don’t get why that is relevant.
Front desk, Central Michigan University
Mount Pleasant, Michigan
Overheard by: Not A Deskie
Boss to web developer: Didn't we do that site for… For… Ugh… You know… Dick bag motherfucker…
Web developer: Um… No… I don't remember doing anything for Dick Bag motherfucker.
Red Bank, New Jersey
Library patron: It's not fucking inappropriate, it's fucking basketball!
Plymouth, New Hampshire
