Health & Hygiene

3PM Vendor Call

Co-worker #1, speaking loudly on headset phone: Well, yeah, I can totally relate to backlog problems! I mean during that refi boom we were just wall to wall with boxes full of papers. We were up to our necks in papers! If the fire marshal would’ve come in here, I’m pretty positive that he would’ve shut us down!

Co-worker #2: Should he really be saying that to our vendors?

Co-worker #3: Well, if we ever get closed down due to our vendors calling the fire department on us, at least we’ll know who to thank for the days off.

1350 Deming Way
Middleton, Wisconsin

11AM Ergonomics Workshop

Co-worker #1: You starting your transformation into Bob Dole?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I already have a sore wrist.

1001 I Street
Sacramento, California

1PM Running Diagnostics, Part 2

Assistant #1: Did you get out for lunch today?
Assistant #2: I did! It was so nice out I didn’t want to come back.
Assistant #1: I think we should all get medals for making it back to work after lunch
Assistant #3: Or a straightjacket.

345 Park Avenue
New York, New York

12PM Lunch

Male bank teller: I’m winning the Mega Millions tonight.
Female bank teller: I’m getting a brace for my leg.
Male teller: Screw that brace. When I win the Mega Millions we’ll get you a new leg! We’ll just cut that one off and I’ll get you a prostate.

725 East Big Beaver Road
Troy, Michigan

10AM Comfort Room

Female co-worker: Oww, my ovaries are falling out.
Male co-worker: Do you want some glue?

720 Washington Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota

5PM That’s a Wrap

Worker on phone: I don’t care if you threw up or not, I’m not canceling that dentist appointment…Well, take some Tums and go anyway. If you have to throw up again, throw up on them; who cares?

321 Norristown Road
Ambler, Pennsylvania

12PM Team Meeting

Co-worker #1: So how’s your belly button?
Co-worker #2: Um…it’s okay.
Co-worker #1: You know my dad’s scar looks like he has 3 belly buttons.
Co-worker #2: Oh yeah? Well, my friend’s isn’t even in the right place. It’s like way down here.
Intern #1: So it’s like she has a extra vag?
Intern #2: This is like the weirdest thing I’ve heard at work.

600 Water Street SW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: ADS

4PM Ad Meeting

Copywriter: Wow, a list of fictional diseases. Hey, look at this: “Watson’s disease.”
Art Director: Is it an elementary disease?

Level 11, Menara IGB
Mid Valley City, Lingkaran Syed Putra
59200 Kuala Lumpur
Malaysia

4PM “Restructuring” Meeting

Manager: The organization just gets bloated. There are all these Vice Presidents, and each of them has 10 or 12 locations reporting to him. And they all need resources, so he puts his team together. Sometimes you just need an enema.

901 East Whitmore Avenue
Modesto, California

12PM Send Out Packages

Designer: All right. V & S Courier will pick up those CDs this afternoon.
Writer: “V & S”? What is that, Venereal and Syphillis?
Designer: I think so. And like venereal and syphillis, they are always traveling back and forth. From customer to customer.

16430 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

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